There are a few things I am grateful for that I would like to share this Thanksgiving. One is having my story published in the New York Times. Having two sisters that accept me for being transgender, even though we don’t talk about it. Having three nieces and a nephew that I love dearly and love me back.
It has been a difficult week. I haven’t felt too grateful for things because the depression has been so bad but today is a better day, least for now it is. I can’t say it will be better this evening when my lows return. I think eating has a little to do with my mood. I ate this early this morning and was still hungry when I woke up a few hours later. This is surprising because I had a good sized piece of steak last night. Usually when I have it, I am not hungry until later in the afternoon.
I texted my family members this morning. I haven’t called my Godmother yet. I probably will after this blog. I am thankful she is still alive. Still 91 and kicking, even though she has a multitude of health problems. I feel bad that I am less than half her age and have my own set of health problems.
I get to see her asshole brother aka my father today. I have to remember to bring the wine he gave me though I was very tempted to break the bottle on the way home yesterday. I could barely walk and he gives me something to carry. It wasn’t that heavy but it was light either. I know he is going to drink half the fucking thing. It’s white wine so I won’t have any. White wine always gives me the worst hangover, even having one glass gives me a bad headache.
My mother is making the turkey and the house smells so yummy. I can’t wait to eat it. I hope that my father doesn’t be an asshole today. My leg is still aching so I will be using my cane again. It’s just a reminder that I am never 100%. I have to take a shower, though I don’t feel like it. My shower is making a funny noise after a few minutes of running water. My brother in law thinks it’s the valve in the turn off valve. I think there’s air in the lines because the water loses pressure when the noise starts. But I have to stick with my every other day schedule of showering and today is a special occasion so I need to bathe. I am not getting dressed up or anything but need to be clean.
I have been invited to my cousin’s 16th birthday party Saturday. I really don’t feel like going as Saturday is usually my me day. I watch my college football games and just do what I feel like doing. I can be a bum and not feel guilty about it. But my cousin from Texas wants to see me so I need to go. I can’t believe my cousin is 16. That would also make 16 years since my uncle passed away. He died on the 22nd and she was born a few days later. I think today is her actual birthday, but I could be wrong. There are so many birthdays on my mother’s side of the family in November alone that it’s hard to keep track.
I really wanted to get a haircut this month but I don’t think it’s going to happen. It might happen after I have my dinner date with my friend. I just want to make sure I have enough cash for that as I am treating him. I don’t think it’s going to cost more than $100 but I want to make sure I have enough just in case. We will be going to our favorite Thai restaurant. I can’t wait because I have been wanting Pad Thai for some time now. They make the best Pad Thai I ever had. I have had it at a couple of places in my area but it doesn’t compare. I am excited about seeing my friend again. We always have a good time. He is an older gentleman that I used to work with when the lab was called chemistry. It’s now called Core Lab because we merged with Hematology. I do miss working there.
I am still addicted to Eric Church’s album “Mr. Misunderstood”. There is not a song that I don’t like on it. It is a really good CD. It is the first album that I bought from him. I have bought a couple of songs in the past but never an entire album. I am glad I got this one as the music moves me.
Seeing as I could not get my Combos snacks in the store, I have ordered them through Amazon. They have shipped and will be coming to my house sometime next week. Add that to the junk that I bought through my grocery list. I bought more carbs than I know what to do with. All breakfast stuff, but still carbs. The rest of my order was yogurt, hamburger patties, tater tots, and cottage cheese. I did get my burrito wraps so I had a breakfast wrap when I woke up. I love making breakfast burritos. It’s so fun. This one I didn’t make tight enough as some cheese fell out. I also bought shredded Monterey cheese for my eggs. I really didn’t know how much stuff I bought until the guy delivered it. It was a lot of stuff to put away. No wonder my leg hated me afterwards.