This subway station always gives me a hard time. It is the Penn Station of Boston. I always take the wrong escalator to get to where I need to go. I rely on public transportation to get around as I don’t have a car. Today someone had their butt in my face as I was sitting on the train. Boston has the rudest people. I am, fortunately, not one of them. I tend to always give to the Spare Change people. They are legitimate homeless people who collect a buck or two for their newspaper. It is a legitimate way for the homeless to collect money without panhandling.
Tonight I am going to Stoughton (south of Boston) for dinner with some good friends. I really don’t feel like venturing out in this cold and rainy day but it is a chance to get out of the house so I can’t complain. I am feeling kind of weak for some reason but it is probably because I have not left the house since Saturday and the fact that my sleeping is still messed up.
I tried to get out of my therapy appt tomorrow but my therapist nixed it. I hate it when she does. I recently saw an episode of CSI NY that had a patient go after his therapists other patients so that he could prove his love for her and she could feel the pain that she caused him when she tried to transfer him to another male therapist. He had developed feelings of love for her and I figured that seemed like a good way to get out of my therapist relationship without having to deal with the countertransference/transference piece but it didn’t hold any water. My therapist knows the feelings I have for her and I know the feelings she has for me. I could say we are a match made in heaven but it is strictly on a professional level and nothing more. I am in love with her, though nothing on an intimate plane. It is a very curious relationship we have. We both have feelings for one another yet we know nothing can really become of it. It is a safe relationship.
It is supposed to snow this week in Boston. I hope that my pain levels don’t skyrocket. I never know how the cold is going to affect me. Sometimes it doesn’t and sometimes I am paralyzed by it. It really sucks when I am paralyzed by pain. I can’t do anything but stay in bed and relax.
My new glasses are still causing me problems but I think it is starting to be a medical thing as my vision has been blurry for no reason and will cut out more so without the glasses than with. I have not had any migraines so it not because of that. I will be contacting my PCP soon, probably tomorrow to try and make an appt to try and figure it out. I hate it when things like this happen to me.
Addmendum: on my way home I almost lost my wallet and had panic that I think caused a mini heart attack you get when all is lost. I had put the wallet in a pocket I never use, in this case my back pocket. I kept on checking my front pockets because why would I check the back? I can be an idiot sometimes…