in a fucking bad mood

In a fucking bad mood

I went to my appointment and it was fucking useless. The guy just told me to keep doing what I have been doing, there is no reason for surgery and nothing else can be done. Thanks and have a nice day. I was livid. Then as I was walking to the train station, my bad foot flared up. I couldn’t bear weight on it. GREAT!! I limped home and was sweating as I over dressed. I under estimated the damn weather. I get to my room and the fucking heat is on. I yell at my mother to turn it off. Open a damn window as it’s nice outside.

She calls me and I am already annoyed so I bark at her. She yells at me. I yell back. Fuck you. I want to order food but have no fucking idea how I am going to go up and down the stairs so I will just wait till my strong pain pills kick in. Not much I can fucking do until the pain settles down anyway, if it settles down. Three fucking days now my foot has been a disaster. It’s a 12 on a scale of 1-10, 10 being the worst. My Achilles isn’t bothering me at all, and I am grateful because the PA did a lot of pressing and prodding.

I emailed my psychiatrist to tell her what the guy said. I haven’t had a response and I don’t expect one. I’m in so much fucking pain right now I could cry. I woke up late so I couldn’t shower. Allergies have been bad all day so I have been fighting post nasal drip and the gags. I just feel really fucking miserable. I swear if I could take out my damn bones in my foot, I would. They are hurting me so damn bad. My foot is all swollen and now my ankle is joining in on the fun. I can’t escape from fucking pain in my left limb.

My friend texted me last night about seeing her daughter’s concert. She got the date wrong and it’s this coming Tuesday. I will go if I am not in pain. Hope this flare up settles down. I haven’t heard back from my PCP’s office about my medication. I hope I hear from him soon as I am getting low and I don’t want to run out over the weekend. If I don’t hear from them tonight, I will call in the morning because I need my meds.

I want to get a new laptop but I am not sure what to do with the one I am using. It’s still good and in great condition but I guess I am bored with it. There isn’t much I do with it other than go on Facebook, check email, Twitter, and write blogs. I sometimes watch movies on it, when I feel like it, DVDs though not stuff on the net. I am too afraid of downloading a virus or something with watching on the web.

Tomorrow I need to go to the bank so I can get my mother a Mother’s day present. I am just going to give her cash. Anything else and she won’t use.

One thought on “in a fucking bad mood

any thoughts?

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s