A harrowing day 2

A harrowing day

I woke up around 5 am because my back was hurting from sleeping on it. It was hard to move and then I couldn’t go back to sleep because I was in pain. My foot was throbbing, but nothing too severe, least not yet. Around 7 I decided to go to Starbucks to get my coffee so I would have it for the weekend and some half and half. It was cold out but warmer than it has been all week. A major storm is suppose to start tomorrow morning.

I caught the bus and went to Starbucks. I was debating on trying the Yukon coffee, which I never had but is a medium roast, which is also what I like. Maybe I will try it next month. I got breakfast and a soy latte with 5 shots espresso. I didn’t want an iced drink as it was too cold out. Paying for the soy was expensive. It was like 8 bucks. I thought I would use my birthday reward but it didn’t go through. I will have to try again on Friday.

I wanted to get some cheese at the grocery store but there was no one at the deli counter. I wanted to catch the bus so I just got the half and half and some English muffins. I was able to catch the bus home. The bus was roasting. I was so hot with my heavy jacket on. I was almost home and my ankle cramped up in the spot that is giving me trouble. Luckily, walking it off helped but left my ankle feeling sore. I went up the stairs and put the things I bought away. For some reason I kept having to go downstairs and talk with my mother because she was still having problems with the TV remote. I also told her the nurse would be coming. The nurse had called me because my mother’s phone is not working. Verizon was supposed to fix it but I never got a call. Around 1130, I called them to find out what was going on because I received a text saying the issue was resolved but I had no internet and my mother’s phone was still not working. The woman said the tech was still working on the problem and would call when it was finished. The tech never called but things were fixed.

My ankle had flared up soon after I called Verizon. I was really irritable and depressed. I was also having a lot of dark thoughts which I wrote about while the internet was down. All I did was take two steps toward the sink to wash my utensils. That was all my ankle needed and it was out of commission. I got very distressed and angry. I am so sick of being in pain. Nothing was getting rid of the pain. I took my meds and read twitter and facebook. I posted some stuff on both medias. I looked at cute pics of kittens and dogs. Nothing was helping. I took some more meds and then an Ativan as I was ready to do something, anything, to rid me of pain or my life, I didn’t care. I think the Ativan calmed me down enough so I was thinking crazy thoughts. Finally the meds worked and my pain was lower than it was. I decided I was going to order pizza and fries rather than get a haircut.

I am very tired as I have been up so early. I never took a nap because I was so anxious. I couldn’t settle down. I kept reading about the storm that is approaching. I hope it doesn’t blow our roof off or damage it more than it is. One of our roof tops is in need of replacing. Hope it stays together with the high winds we are supposed to have. I don’t like high winds as it feels like it is going to blow the house down or something. I closed my window and am just running the ceiling fan. Otherwise it just gets too hot in my room.

I think I am going to go to bed early. I was going to watch some more MASH but I don’t think it will be a good idea. I might read to get my mind off my worries over the next few days. I might not be able to see my psychiatrist Friday if it is very icy out. I sent her an email about being irritable and that I hope to see her at our appt. I don’t see my therapist until Monday so I am hoping the street will be better by then. His office building is on a main street so it should be clear and hopefully ice free come Monday. I just don’t know when the snow will stop tomorrow and if there will be enough time for people to shovel to remove it before it all turns to ice.