berserk foot, no sleep

Berserk foot no sleep

(pic is of Mass. General Hospital taken in 1858)
I was lying down all propped up on my pillows, lying on my back all comfy. I was ready to snooze but my damn fucking foot went berserk and my pain spiked to a 13. I am still hurting. I just took my pain meds so I am giving it a little more time before I take another strong pain pill. It is so hot in my room and I am sure my chocolate has melted. I have morsels in my room. It is dark chocolate, my favorite kind.

I am hungry but I can’t stand on my foot right now. That would be murder. I wish I had a protein bar or something like that in my room that isn’t too crumbly. I don’t want crumbs on my bed. I really can’t wait for the temps to be in the 60’s without the damn humidity. I really hate the heat.

I had put a sock on my foot as the ceiling fan air was bothering it. Now the sock is bothering me. I can’t fricken win. I am so tired and I know I am going to feel like shit later today. I probably am not going to get new glasses as I will be so tired. It’s almost 3 am. I hate that hour as it then becomes a guessing game as to when I will fall asleep. I hope my mother doesn’t want to wear her socks tomorrow. I would hate to only get 2 or 3 hours of sleep. I put on the white noise machine. It is making me so sleepy but pain is keeping me up. I hate nights like this.

I met a few chronic pain people on twitter yesterday. I was chatting with one of them. I told her I had cauda equina syndrome and she was joking about how a horse stomped on my foot, causing me my pain. Her autocorrect did something to the spelling so she had to explain it as the tweets didn’t make sense. I noticed tonight that my left foot is getting smaller than my right, when it isn’t swollen. I am losing muscle, which isn’t good and probably what is causing me pain. I don’t know if it is the CRPS or nerve damage. Thing is I am using my foot/ankle so I don’t know why my muscles are wasting. So damn frustrating. I think I need to see the new neuro to see what he thinks. I hope I don’t have to go to PT to try and fix it. It will be painful, more than what it is now.

I think I will use the diclofenac gel on the top of my foot. Some times it works to lower my pain. Not all of it but just enough so I can bear it. I sometimes will use lidocaine but I think the diclofenac will work better as it might lower the swelling. I really don’t know if it will help unless I try. Maybe then my meds will have kicked in and I can go to sleep.

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