Thanksgiving Eve 2020

Thanksgiving Eve 2020

My sister didn’t buy the squash that I wanted so I wanted to go today but I had to go to the post office to mail something out. I got stuck in the line so my sister went for me. I waited so long in line at the post office that my ankle flared up. It still is hurting me and I am trying so much to ignore it. It isn’t working. I am tired just from this excursion. God my ankle hurts. I didn’t go get my EKG today. I might go Friday if my sister isn’t doing anything. I will have her drive me there. It shouldn’t take too long. They are usually quick. I hate that I have to have it because my stupid breast is in the way because it is useless. I hate the things on my chest so much. It is really bothering me that I can’t get rid of them until I lose 25 lbs. I have been slowly losing weight but it is slow. I really think that this is discriminatory against overweight people to have them lose weight to affirm themselves. I don’t understand why you need to lose weight or be a certain BMI. If I had breast cancer I bet they wouldn’t say I needed to lose weight to remove the cancer. So stupid. Makes me so angry. It doesn’t help the gender dysphoria and it doesn’t help my mood that I have to fucking wait. I am so pissed off because losing weight is not easy.

I ordered lunch from my favorite sub shop. I can’t wait for the chicken kabob sandwich. It has been a long time since I had it. I bought myself an early birthday present for myself. I got a ticket to see Mary Chapin Carpenter at the Wolf Trap Center virtually for Friday night. I am so excited. And then I find out Taylor is on Disney plus so I will watch that tomorrow after dinner. It will be great to see Taylor and how she came with her new album. I love it. It is a really good mellow album.

I accidently took a double dose of Miralax today. I had a close to empty bottle so thought I would just take the rest didn’t realize there was enough for a dose in there. So I emptied the bottle in my glass. I just hope I don’t have colon blow or lose control of my bowels making an accident. I did my T shot today and didn’t hit a vein. I am so happy about that. Last couple of times I have hit one and there was a lot of blood after the shot. I can’t stand looking at my own blood. It makes me queasy.

I took a nap around 1600 and I am still tired. Hope I can sleep tonight. I know I took a late nap. I just took my night meds. I haven’t heard back from my psychiatrist. I had asked for a refill on the citalopram and haven’t gotten it yet. It still hasn’t been called in to the pharmacy. I hope I will hear from him on Friday as I will run out this weekend and I don’t see him till next week. Monday I will go get the EKG that I need. I wanted to go today but I wasn’t sure if the office had a half day or not because of tomorrow’s holiday.