feeling depressed and ugly

Feeling depressed and ugly

I’ve been up since four this morning. I had a little nap for about 20 minutes before my appointment today. I then had another cup of coffee after the appointment because why not. Sox have a late game and if I am up, I will listen to it. I have been feeling so depressed and I don’t know why. I don’t want to go to therapy next week. I know I might change my mind by next week so I haven’t texted my therapist. My appointment isn’t in the list of visits yet anyways. Probably won’t be until later this week.

I had an appointment with my TG doc today. She had a doc from Brazil come in on the visit which was neat until my internet kicked me off of zoom. My doc called me and we spoke on the phone for the rest of the visit. My blood levels are where she wants them to be so we are staying at the dose I am on. I had no questions for her and doesn’t seem like she wants blood work before our next visit so I am good. I see her in six months.

My mother made BBQ chicken wings so I had that for brunch. They were so good. I had my second cup of coffee afterwards with some biscuits as a dessert. I’ve been feeling full all day. I have been going on the regular to the bathroom to pee so I haven’t put myself on a schedule or alarm. I just been paying attention to what I drink and the hours in between caths. So far I haven’t had any discharge on the pad but that doesn’t mean anything. I sometimes go at night more than during the day. If I am clear tonight then I will switch back to boxers. I tried to get a hold of someone at the surgeon’s office but no one returned my phone calls.

I have been trying to set up an appointment with an oral surgeon so I can get my wisdom teeth extracted and my dentist is being difficult and so is the surgeon’s office staff. My dentist supposedly sent them what they requested but when I called today, they have no record of it. I give up. I just won’t have my teeth extracted. I don’t care.

I haven’t heard back from my neuro about my MRI so I guess no news is good news for now. It will be a week before the report is in my record. I am still having pain in my leg, thigh and shin. Sometimes they are together and sometimes it is just the shin hurting. I don’t know what sets it off but it hurts so bad that it takes my breath away sometimes.

I was able to shower today. It was a real quick one. I wanted to shave my head but I never got the chance. I will try tomorrow. It’s kind of cool so I only ran the AC for a little while just to get the stuffiness out of my room. I bought new coloring books and I can’t wait to color in them. One is a Scooby-Doo book that looks like it is a self-publishing because the pages are on the left instead of the right. It is hard coloring in the book but doable.

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