Juneteenth 2023
My cousin called me around 11 and that woke me up. I had made plans with him for him to take me to the Square so I could do a few errands. It was a quick trip. I was back home within an hour. Now my foot is flared up. I am debating on taking something for it. I am so tired of being in fucking pain. Last night I had a dream and it wasn’t a good one. I felt suicidal when I woke up. Thankfully the feelings didn’t last long.
I am going to try and clear off my bed so I can wash my bedding. I also need to work on my personal statement a little bit. A friend said that I should include more things about me so they know me as what I wrote is pretty short and to the point. She felt it could be a bit longer.
I took a couple hours nap after I did my errands. I was feeling really tired. I didn’t want to go out but the errands had to be done. My niece made baked cauliflower again and I had the last of it. It has been the only thing I have eaten all day. My appetite has been off and on. Some days I eat and other days I don’t.
I feel really depressed. It’s hard to concentrate. I just want to lay down and do nothing. I am in pain. Foot flared up soon after I came home. I am exhausted dealing with pain every day again. Every day my foot and ankle remind me they are “there”. That is the best way to describe CRPS. The pain is unpredictable and changes daily. So frustrating. I know my therapist would want me to do something to help my depression but I am so tired. I just want to sleep. I am listening to music now. I will probably listen to the game tonight. That is if I can stay awake.
midnightdemons7 