midnightdemons7

Tiring day 14102026

I woke up tired. I had a few times during the night were I had to wake up to pee and then couldn’t go back to sleep right away. I was tossing and turning. I couldn’t get comfortable. Or I would get comfortable then have to pee again. I had to get up because I had my history quiz and I needed to get the steroid pack from the pharmacy.

I got up and made coffee and then I cuddled with the dog for a bit. She was upset her mommy wasn’t home. I got dressed and then went to the pharmacy. It wasn’t busy and I got something to eat. Now I am craving pancakes so I think I am going to make them.

I took my quiz and right at the start my bowels decided it needed to go. I fucking crapped my pants and was not fucking happy. I couldn’t pause my quiz so I just let it run and quickly did my business which had to be done at my sister’s because my nephew was taking a shower. I answered the best I could and after the exam it corrected part of it and I got three answers wrong. Fuck. I hope I don’t get a bad grade because of it.

I am free now to do whatever. I am tired but also hungry so I am going to make those pancakes. Been a long time since I had them from scratch. I miss cooking and baking. I wish I had a good pumpkin muffin recipe. I would love to make those. I had bought a Chimichanga at the pharmacy and then I took the steroid meds. I have decided to take them all at once rather than divided them up during the day. I don’t care.

In migraine land again

I woke up with a migraine. I slept ok for the most part. I got up around noon. I had to take some Tylenol for the headache. The neuro’s nurse got back to me as I got downstairs to make my coffee. I just wanted a steroid pack at this point, not a bunch of questions as to why the fuck I have migraine clusters. I don’t know why the fuck I get headaches/migraines for days in a row. I am sure my doc doesn’t know either. But I did know if she didn’t give me the steroid pack today, I was going to the ED to get it. It is affecting my work and making me feel so sick.

My instructor for my networking class got back to me about my question on goals. I redid the homework and did a few paragraphs like the assignment had asked. Now I am all caught up with class. I just sent a message to the psychology office director person for an interview. I have no idea what I am going to ask her or what I am supposed to ask her. I will find out next week when I go to class. I got to make an effort to go. I canceled my therapy appt so I can sleep in later and not be up so early.

I also canceled my DMH worker’s appt this week. I got to go to a lecture that night and the time doesn’t work for me to be in one part of Boston and then be in another part of Boston a few hours later. I am still trying to hold my spoons and hope this damn migraine cluster is gone by then. I haven’t picked up my steroid pack yet. I will tomorrow morning when I get up. I am glad I did some schoolwork today despite my head hurting. I would have been mad had I not done anything. I just wanted to lay down on my bed. My CRPS pain is ok for the moment. My foot hurts but I can tolerate it. It has been raining most of the day today and construction work outside has really tested my patience. I can’t tolerate the stupid work machines backing up, making a beeping noise when it does so. It drives me crazy. Tomorrow is supposed to be nicer and warmer. My calf still hurts. I feel like sending a message to my pcp but I see her next week.

I have a history quiz tomorrow that is open book. I am glad because I don’t think I would be able to study tonight. And I have all of class time to take it so that is good. I don’t have to rush through it.

Sleeping is still fucked

I woke up in the middle of the night after sleeping for a few hours. I was still in pain and felt worse. I didn’t go back to sleep until 7 or 8am. I slept for a few hours and when I woke up, I was late for therapy. We talked about this weekend and how horrible it was. I told her I was suicidal again because the pain is just so bad. I have had a headache or migraine the past few days. Today I have a migraine. I took some Excedrin and my triptan for it. I hope to get a response from my neuro tomorrow. I requested the steroids again.

I went back to sleep after therapy. I didn’t know what I wanted to eat. I wasn’t very hungry. I had an ensure this morning. I had some soup for dinner. I put too much black pepper in it. I wanted wings and a soda. But I didn’t get them. I need to go to the grocery store for some stuff. I want to get a pumpkin pie and eggnog.

Therapy went ok. I was open about being suicidal because of the pain. I was tired as I just woke up so I wasn’t thinking too clear. We talked about class and how I can rest today because I was off. I still need to do the work. I got to study for history as I got a quiz on Wed. We didn’t get into how suicidal I was or anything. I am depressed about the CRPS being out of remission.

I am hungry. I think I am going to make a PB&J. It has been my go to. I love it so much.