midnightdemons7

A day of rest

I got up kind of late. I had something to eat and then I had some coffee. I then slept the afternoon away. I had a dream I was trying to get ready for work but couldn’t find things like my badge and sneakers. I also dreamt I went to my cousin’s place in Pepperill and was by the water with boats. Which is completely made up as there is no water near that town. They did have a swimming pool but it wouldn’t have boats.

I played with Honey until she didn’t want to anymore. She is so funny. I love her so much. I have therapy tomorrow. My therapist sent me a list of things to do to feel better. It was a list we worked on together last week. It has been a year we have been working together. She is a good therapist. She tries her best to help me. I don’t know if it is doing any good. I am still depressed though I am less suicidal these days except when I am in a lot of pain from the CRPS. I don’t think about a lot of stuff like I used to. I guess it doesn’t matter about things that happened in the past. Since having top surgery, I have been feeling like myself, whatever that looks like. It is hard spending day after day being suicidal and then not being it one day and then the day after that.

Tomorrow I am going to work on my history homework so I don’t have to do it over the weekend. I was able to talk to one of the networking instructors yesterday before I left the career fair. I had some questions about the interview thing we have to submit as our last homework assignment. I have to do my resume. I think I will need some help in getting it done. There is a place on campus where I can get it done. I have to ask one of my classmates about it as her presentation was on it. Thursday I see my DMH worker but I should be able to do my gender studies work. If not, I can definitely do it Friday. I am glad there is no class tomorrow because of Veteran’s day.

Even though I slept all day today, I am feeling tired. I think I am going to read my Neurosis book before bed. I miss having a baseball game to listen to.

Accomplishment today

I did not want to get up today. My alarm went off and I had to pee. I also had to do my homework but I waited a half hour until my med alarm went off. I took my meds and then did my homework. I went through like three pages and then I needed coffee. I went downstairs and made a cup. I took out a uncrustable sandwich to thaw out while I made the coffee. I didn’t have bread to make a sandwich. I wouldn’t be on campus that long anyway. I drank my coffee and played my game. My throat was hurting but my pcp’s RN didn’t think it was anything as I don’t have any other symptoms.

I went back to my room and got my clothes ready and decided to rest for a bit. That proved to be my downfall. I didn’t want to leave the bed. I was all comfortable and stuff. But I had to attend the career fair after my history class so I begrudgedly got up. I stayed in bed a little too late and I was late to class but I made it. I also finished the homework I was working on before leaving the house. I don’t know if I did well on it as I kept on repeating myself for every answer.

I went to the bus stop and it was coming in like 12 mins. I took my time walking there. I was a little late to class but I made it. Class was good. I learned about Drunk History on YouTube. It was interesting. After class, I went to the “ballroom” which was just a large conference room. I was disappointed. I did meet a social worker and we talked about things to do before or while I was earning my MSW. I have decided to pursue my master’s in social work rather than psychology because I can’t do much with it.

After the fair, I was feeling good that I attending both things on campus. I had to go grocery shopping as I was out of half and half. The train was delayed on the way there. I was not happy. I shopped for a few items and then my prescription was ready. I went to pick it up after I paid for my things. I bought four things and it was $20. But I got bread now so I can make sandwiches and having my PB&J. I missed them. I love them so much. Some days it is all I eat. I accomplished more today than I planned but it was an accomplishment as I didn’t even want to leave the house in the first place. Now I am tired and my feet hurt. I probably will go to bed early and sleep all day tomorrow.

Saturday Blog 07112026

I woke up to my med alarm this morning and I wanted to throw my phone across the room. I didn’t want to get up but I had to take my meds. I stayed in bed a little longer and then I took them. Then I got up and had some coffee. I wasn’t hungry so didn’t eat anything. After my coffee I went back to my room after I brushed my teeth. My ankle flared up and it has been hurting me all day.

I tried napping but I had schoolwork to do. I read the next chapter I was to read for my gender class. It was about fatherhood. I wrote something about it and then moved on to the next one. I have three per week. I read a comment the professor made on one of my submissions and it was one where I was knocked down a point because I didn’t include a quote from the book. Fuck. None of my submissions had quotes. Oh well. Tomorrow I am doing history stuff. That should be easier. I still need to do the course evaluation. I might do that tomorrow.

I needed to shower and trim my beard. I ended up taking it off and trimming my mustache. I just left a stubble on my face as I didn’t feel like shaving. I had to trim my mustache as the hair was getting in my mouth. I then showered and while showering, my right foot started cramping. I don’t know what its problem is. I have been hydrating today. My ankle didn’t feel any better and it felt worse. I ended up taking pain meds for it. I got a headache. Too soon to know if it will be a migraine. There were t-storms yesterday. The rain finally stopped. I took some meds for the headache.

I had a chicken sandwich for lunch. I wanted an egg sandwich for dinner but my bread is gone. I have to buy more. I need to do a little grocery shopping. I spent $90 on soup and Powerade. I am stocked for soup now. I like it because it is filling.

I have been feeling tired all day. I haven’t been able to nap. I never usually nap unless I am really tired. I have been too antsy today because of the schoolwork that needed to be done. I slept pretty good as I only woke up once around 530. My nephew was playing his game. I don’t know how he can be up all night playing. Honey is home and she finally went to the vet. They gave her mommy some ear drops for her ear that gives her itching. It has been difficult to do as she doesn’t stay still. I understand. I hate to have ear drops in my ears.