midnightdemons7

It has been wicked cold most of the day and the wind just makes it colder. It is going to be cold the rest of the week. I think the warm temps were a tease.

I slept ok. I got up around 10 and nearly forgot to take my meds. I asked my sister if she could take me to the grocery store as I was out of half and half. While I was getting ready she took the puppy for a walk. She is allergic to dogs so I was shocked. She then put her in the back yard. She wasn’t as scared as when I took her out. My brother in law brought her in when we left for the store. I finally had hot dogs.

I haven’t done anything the rest of the day. My Sox lost the game. Bello didn’t have his stuff today. He has struggled all through spring training. We still have a losing record so far. Hope when the weather is warmer, we win more games.

I had a cup of coffee around 330pm. It killed my stomach even tho I had a biscuit with it. I think I am just going to take an Ensure with my night meds.

I have been hanging out with the puppy most of the day. She has been cuddling me. I managed to shave and messed up my goatee. One side is shorter than the other. I might shave it completely off tomorrow if I can’t get the other side the same. I need to take a shower tonight. Might have to wear flannel PJs. The wind is making my room wicked cold. My arms have been freezing most of the day. I need to wear a long sleeved shirt.

I got another headache today. I wanted to do some reading for class tonight. I’ll see if the shower helps. I already took some Tylenol. Just hope this doesn’t become a migraine. Rain is supposed to happen tomorrow so I think that is why. Temps have been fluctuating so much I am surprised I haven’t had a headache sooner.

Made one of two appts

I had set my alarm for 7 to get up for my appt at 930. I woke up a few minutes before the alarm to pee. I took my meds and then made the mistake of going back to sleep without another alarm set. I didn’t get up until the clinic called if I was coming in or not. I just couldn’t get up. I got up around noon. I had my coffee and after I finished it, I messaged my pcp to reschedule the appt I missed.

I hung out with the puppy until it was therapy time. It went ok. She thinks I progressed some. I don’t feel like I have but then I am critical like that. During our conversation, Honey was in my lap and she started growling for some reason, which she never does. My therapist heard it and busted out laughing. It was so funny.

After therapy, I needed to go to the grocery store but I laid down with puppy and that went the rest of the afternoon. I didn’t do anything. I didn’t shave or shower or brush my teeth. I did nothing. I felt so tired. I cuddled the puppy. She was so good. She didn’t eat or drink anything but I made her some eggs for dinner. I had a chicken sandwich for dinner.

No rest days this week

I realized today that I have something every day and it involves going out. I am so tired. I went to campus three times this week. It took me forever to get there tonight. The red line was delayed soon after it left my station. I left my house around 330 and didn’t get to campus till 515pm. It normally takes me 45 minutes to get there. I was contemplating going home but decided to stick it out. I finally learned something that I understand. I came home and we were moving along until I was four stops away from my station. Then we were delayed. I just wanted to go home and have pizza. My leg was killing me with the swelling and when I took my sock off, there was a sizeable dent in my leg. No wonder it was so painful.

I had therapy today and to my surprise, she didn’t know anything about reasons for living. It is in the safety plan that I avoid because I think it is a guilt trip. She said she is going to look it up. I think I might be smarter than my therapist, or at least more knowledgeable than her. We talked about Honey because this morning I stepped in shit and nearly fell. I didn’t have time to make coffee before therapy. I was too tired to get out of bed. I don’t remember what else we talked about. I went back to sleep afterwards.

When I got up, I had my coffee but nothing to eat. I wasn’t really hungry. I just had one cup because my stomach was starting to get upset. The pup didn’t want to go outside. I petted her and then I brushed my teeth and shaved. I really didn’t feel like shaving but it had to be done or it would have been too long. I like the goatee I have right now. The hair on my chin is filling in nice. Today was shot day so after I shaved, I took it.

Tomorrow I have an appt with my DMH worker in the afternoon. I am planning on going to the grocery store after the appt. I need half and half and I want hot dogs as I have been craving them for some time now. Friday I have an appt at my pcp’s office for my leg swelling. My leg is so painful right now. I hope I can sleep.