midnightdemons7

Sneezing like crazy today

Since I got up this morning, I have been sneezing. I don’t know why. I took my meds early, before I went downstairs for coffee. I didn’t sleep well. I think the afternoon nap that I had yesterday interfered with my night sleeping. I slept on and off but I think I was up for most of the night as I kept on tossing and turning. I just couldn’t get comfortable and my legs were hurting. If I lay on my right side, my back started to hurt. I was getting so frustrated. I peed around 330 so decided to take an Ativan and that helped me sleep for a little bit.

Therapy went ok. I told her our anniversary was next week and she said it has been a year she has been with the organization as a whole as she started in Oct. I told her this was a difficult week for me as it is my godparents birthdays over the next couple of days. Today is my godmother’s birthday. I am always thinking of her. She meant so much to me growing up. I remember I would call her nearly every Sunday if we didn’t go down to see her. Then I just called her when she moved to the next town over. It was a nice house. I spent a week there one summer. It was fun. I loved being away from home. My sisters got homesick and came home early.

I took a shower and my legs really hate me now. I was getting cramps in my calves and feet this morning. I went to the grocery store to get some things. I wanted to make a Thanksgiving sandwich but the jerks at the deli counter gave me ham instead of turkey. I didn’t notice it until I was at home. I got salami so I can have a sandwich on Monday.

I got to do my history homework. I have been trying to do it the past hour or so and keep procrastinating. Tomorrow I see my DMH worker. I plan on getting Starbucks. I still have some Starbucks money on my card. I wish there was a store near me that I can go to without taking a million buses to. Or a train and a bus. I got a history quiz coming up next week. I got to go over my notes. There were two classes I missed. I hope it doesn’t affect me negatively.

A day of rest

I got up kind of late. I had something to eat and then I had some coffee. I then slept the afternoon away. I had a dream I was trying to get ready for work but couldn’t find things like my badge and sneakers. I also dreamt I went to my cousin’s place in Pepperill and was by the water with boats. Which is completely made up as there is no water near that town. They did have a swimming pool but it wouldn’t have boats.

I played with Honey until she didn’t want to anymore. She is so funny. I love her so much. I have therapy tomorrow. My therapist sent me a list of things to do to feel better. It was a list we worked on together last week. It has been a year we have been working together. She is a good therapist. She tries her best to help me. I don’t know if it is doing any good. I am still depressed though I am less suicidal these days except when I am in a lot of pain from the CRPS. I don’t think about a lot of stuff like I used to. I guess it doesn’t matter about things that happened in the past. Since having top surgery, I have been feeling like myself, whatever that looks like. It is hard spending day after day being suicidal and then not being it one day and then the day after that.

Tomorrow I am going to work on my history homework so I don’t have to do it over the weekend. I was able to talk to one of the networking instructors yesterday before I left the career fair. I had some questions about the interview thing we have to submit as our last homework assignment. I have to do my resume. I think I will need some help in getting it done. There is a place on campus where I can get it done. I have to ask one of my classmates about it as her presentation was on it. Thursday I see my DMH worker but I should be able to do my gender studies work. If not, I can definitely do it Friday. I am glad there is no class tomorrow because of Veteran’s day.

Even though I slept all day today, I am feeling tired. I think I am going to read my Neurosis book before bed. I miss having a baseball game to listen to.

Accomplishment today

I did not want to get up today. My alarm went off and I had to pee. I also had to do my homework but I waited a half hour until my med alarm went off. I took my meds and then did my homework. I went through like three pages and then I needed coffee. I went downstairs and made a cup. I took out a uncrustable sandwich to thaw out while I made the coffee. I didn’t have bread to make a sandwich. I wouldn’t be on campus that long anyway. I drank my coffee and played my game. My throat was hurting but my pcp’s RN didn’t think it was anything as I don’t have any other symptoms.

I went back to my room and got my clothes ready and decided to rest for a bit. That proved to be my downfall. I didn’t want to leave the bed. I was all comfortable and stuff. But I had to attend the career fair after my history class so I begrudgedly got up. I stayed in bed a little too late and I was late to class but I made it. I also finished the homework I was working on before leaving the house. I don’t know if I did well on it as I kept on repeating myself for every answer.

I went to the bus stop and it was coming in like 12 mins. I took my time walking there. I was a little late to class but I made it. Class was good. I learned about Drunk History on YouTube. It was interesting. After class, I went to the “ballroom” which was just a large conference room. I was disappointed. I did meet a social worker and we talked about things to do before or while I was earning my MSW. I have decided to pursue my master’s in social work rather than psychology because I can’t do much with it.

After the fair, I was feeling good that I attending both things on campus. I had to go grocery shopping as I was out of half and half. The train was delayed on the way there. I was not happy. I shopped for a few items and then my prescription was ready. I went to pick it up after I paid for my things. I bought four things and it was $20. But I got bread now so I can make sandwiches and having my PB&J. I missed them. I love them so much. Some days it is all I eat. I accomplished more today than I planned but it was an accomplishment as I didn’t even want to leave the house in the first place. Now I am tired and my feet hurt. I probably will go to bed early and sleep all day tomorrow.