midnightdemons7

July 4^th, America’s 250^th birthday

It was a hot day today. The puppy wanted to stay outside but it was way too hot for her. She’d bark when she got inside. She didn’t want to stay in her room where it was cool. I tried staying with her but every noise made her jump up and run to the stairs or back door.

I went downstairs as my niece said there was food. I had a burger and some tonic. I stayed out until I couldn’t stand the heat anymore. I was shirtless. I had taken a shower because I had a blow out. Damn bowels. I screwed up with my meds. I don’t know what happened to Sat’s meds. They aren’t in their box. I never took my meds Tues night. I took the Latuda but I didn’t take the rest of the meds. I don’t know why I am getting bad at taking my meds lately. I keep screwing up.

I feel really bad I had the blow out. I was a complete mess. It totally destroyed my self-esteem. I was doing well for a while. But I got a bad bout of constipation and needed to take miralax. I always get loose stools when I take it and I have no control over them when it happens. All because of the nerve damage from my back.

My cousin is going to clean up my neck and beard tomorrow. I am glad because I just can’t seem to do it myself. I need to cut my hair again so I can shave it. I miss being smooth bald. Last night I had a hard time getting to sleep. I started reading the book I borrowed from the library. I thought it was boring but I got interested in it. I read a few chapters and then by like 1am I had to call it quits, but then my niece messaged me she was coming home so I was up for a little bit longer. Then I had to pee. I had weird dreams last night. One was about swimming pools. Given the heat, I am not surprised I am dreaming about them. I miss having access to one. Public pools were awesome. There is one down the street from me. I just can’t walk there and back. It is a little too far from my walking distance. I think it is like a half a mile away from me. There is a bus that goes by but I don’t want to be wet and take the bus afterwards.

2^nd day of heatwave

Today was much hotter than yesterday. My poor pup wanted to go outside. I let her out for a few minutes and then called her back in. She just wanted to lay in the sun but it was too hot for her.

I woke up several times during the night to pee. I was annoyed. Each time it felt like my bladder was going to burst. I wouldn’t mind if I had been drinking but I wasn’t. Stupid bladder. I got up around 11 and had coffee. I wasn’t really hungry. Or at least, what I wanted (corn muffin) I didn’t have.

The puppy was active today as she didn’t stay in her room too much. She really wanted to stay on the porch. I felt so bad that she couldn’t be outside. We cuddled and played for a bit. I had my call with my DMH case worker. Honey was curious as there was a voice coming from my phone. It was too funny. After the meeting, I had lunch. Then I took a nap. I put some music on and just fell asleep. First time I took a nap in ages. Puppy was at my feet or lying near me the whole time.

I woke up when my sister came home from work. She was so loud I got a headache. Needless to say, I never showered today. I am back taking the Robaxin tablets for the spasms in my back. It seems to be helping. I hate that I have to take it around the clock though in order for it to work. I have my alarm set for it.

Did not have a good night

Last night I was overtired and couldn’t get to sleep because I was in so much pain. In addition to my CRPS pain, my thigh decided to start something. The muscles were twitching and sending pain down my leg. I was freaking out about it. I had to take some Ativan to calm down or I would have gone to the emergency room or something. I messaged my pcp and the dumb nurse sends me exercises for my calf. I am like, my calf isn’t the issue. Then he calls me after I say I want to be seen and he says the exercises will help. How if they are targeting the wrong muscle group?? I didn’t argue with him on the phone because I was tired and I just wanted to make the appt and get off the phone.

I went to get my blood drawn. My white count is back in normal range. I picked up my meds at the different pharmacies and bought some food stuff. They had ramen noodles so I got that and my Japanese rice dish. I also got some ice cream sandwiches because I wanted some ice cream. As I was walking home, it started to drizzle. I had a feeling thunderstorms were going to happen so I walked quickly home before I got drenched.

I made the Japanese rice dish for supper and then had an ice cream sandwich for dessert. I am wicked tired. I didn’t sleep too good last night. I was up for nearly 22 hours. I woke up to pee around 8 I think and then I set my alarm, or at least I thought I did, for 1030 so I could get dressed and get my blood work done. It never went off so I guess I didn’t set it right. I woke up around 1. I had coffee and a PB&J sandwich. Honey wanted some but I know she doesn’t really like peanut butter unless it is with other stuff that my sister makes. I think I am going to take my night med around 7 and go to bed. I know it is early and I run the chance of waking up at 2am but I am dead tired and cranky. I am still in a lot of pain with the CRPS.

My friend posted that she got a s’mores coffee at Starbucks so I am going to get one tomorrow. I also found out Taylor is getting married this weekend!! I am so excited and will be on social media looking for pics. I am supposed to go to a BBQ on Thursday (think this is the rehearsal dinner) so I probably am not going to go. Friday is the wedding!!