midnightdemons7

Therapy and anger

I slept pretty good last night but my muscles were hurting me when I woke up, including my lower back. It’s cold today so I think that is why. I got up later than I wanted to. I had two cups of coffee and some cornbread that I made the other day. I feel so sleepy.

I had therapy today and got angry of the things were talking about. I asked her what to do about it and she said to write it down. My sister painted my mother’s jewelry box and I am so angry. She has taken away nearly everything my mother had in the house and never asked anyone if it was ok, she just did it. Makes me so mad. Then you toss in the world shit and the state of the states and omg anger on top of anger.

After therapy, I went to hang out with the pup. I laid down with her. I don’t feel like eating. I thought of heating up some soup. But I am not hungry. I will just take an Ensure with my meds tonight. I was going to get my meds but I feel so tired. I will get them tomorrow after I go grocery shopping. I need to pick up a few things.

My check for UMB hasn’t cleared yet. I made an appt for advising today. I am choosing electives next semester, some fun classes. I still haven’t gotten my grade for exam 1 yet. I am so anxious about it. I did the pre-lab for next week. I plan on reading a chapter or two so that I am caught up.

I feel so down today. My head feels like it is in a fog. I just want to sleep. I showered and groomed yesterday. It felt good. I am letting my beard grow in. It is all stubble right now. When I get my check, I am going to get my head shaved. I have been letting it grow because I was too lazy to keep up with the shaving. It doesn’t take me long to actually do it but it does require a lot of energy to do it. I got to want to do it and make it happen.

This was me last night. I couldn’t sleep until after 6am. I have slept on and off most of the day. I feel miserable.

Therapy and baseball

I slept with the puppy last night and got the best sleep. She was nothing like the night before. She stayed cuddled with me most of the night. My med alarm woke me up. I stayed in bed for about another hour and then got up to take them. My bitch sister was home and when I got to my room, I was confused on what day of the week it was. My med box was full so I thought it was Sunday but I knew I was having therapy so it had to be Mon. Then I remembered Sunday was full because I always fill the box for the week so that Sunday morning I don’t have to fill it to take my meds. After I sorted the confusion and took my meds, I went downstairs for coffee. I asked puppy if she wanted to join me and didn’t follow me so I guess that was a no.

I had the cornbread I made yesterday. I forgot to cover it and luckily it wasn’t hard as a rock this morning. I took a piece and then covered it. Then I had some yogurt when I finished my coffee. I found that eating yogurt and drinking coffee doesn’t go well together. By the time I was done, it was close to therapy time so I went up to my room. I wanted to have it with my puppy like last week but I didn’t want bitch listening to my conversation.

Therapy went ok. We talked about the puppy. On Saturday night she went under the blanket and cuddled me. I laughed and was happy because she finally settled down after being up most of the night. I didn’t sleep though. She was like a toddler in bed. Last night she was happy I was staying with her again and I think that settled her because she didn’t leave my side all night. We also talked about my shaking. I had to reduce the Depakote to see if it a side effect or a nerve thing. I just hope I don’t get bombarded with headaches. I am meeting her again this week just to talk.

After therapy I planned on showering but I hate doing it when bitch is around because she like to put on the cold vent when I am in there. I hate it. I don’t want to feel cold when I shower. It is already cold in the bathroom. So I haven’t showered. I also wanted to groom but that won’t get done today. I need to shave my pits because I got a forest under my arms. I will later tonight when I know she will stay in her room.

I had another cup of coffee. I texted my sister to see if she was coming home after work and she was. She stopped at the store to pick up a rotisserie chicken and we had dinner. I am glad she didn’t notice my smell like bitch did. I think it has been a week since I last showered. I usually shower Sun and Tues nights because that is before class. But I was not feeling up to the task last week.

I thought I would be listening to the ballgame tonight but it was canceled because of rain. I am so disappointed. Sat I was going to listen to the game and they had the NCAA game on. I miss night ball games. The season doesn’t officially start until the 26^th. I cannot fricken wait. I missed my boys.