midnightdemons7

Day of surprises

I thought there would be a practice exam on the website so I checked today. I found out there were two homework assignments to be completed by tomorrow morning at 9am. WTF I got an email from the instructor that said what chapters were going to be on the exam and to not answer question related to DNA or carbohydrates. I am stressing out. Then I get an email from the bursar’s office telling me I owe $1500. I got a federal grant but the Mass grant that I got wasn’t applied to my account. I want to know why so I responded to the person. $1500 is a lot of money. I don’t know how I am going to pay it off.

I had therapy today. We talked about grief and my weird dreams. Near the end she asked if I was suicidal at all since we last met. I told her no. I honestly can’t remember if I have been or not. I know there was a night I was thinking about it but I don’t remember when that was. She also asked if she could talk to my DMH worker. I had to sign a release for her to talk to her. I don’t know if I have to do the same for my DMH worker. I will text her tomorrow and see what she says.

My surgeon’s office called me this morning again. It was for a follow up appt after surgery. She didn’t leave a time so I had to look it up. Thankfully it is in the afternoon. May is going to be a busy month. I told my therapist we might have to switch days as some Mondays I have appts.

Last night was not only weird because of the dreams I had, but I also woke up with pain in my butt. I had to have a bowel movement and it was so damn painful. I went another two times this afternoon and the last time gave me wicked nerve pain. I am still feeling it and it was a few hours ago. I hate when I am that constipated. The stools seem to be a little looser now and softer so hopefully the next time I go, it won’t hurt as much. I had to stop taking the senna because I didn’t want to go while I was out of the house.

I got to do the homework assignments tonight. I have been putting it off the last couple of hours. I am such a procrastinator.

Made it to class

I woke up in a fuck it mood today. I didn’t want to do jack shit. I had one cup of coffee out of habit. I brushed my teeth. I played my game. But I didn’t want to leave the house even though it has been more than a week since I left. I had to pick up my meds so that was my motivating factor. I got up later than I wanted to. I was hungry but I didn’t know what I wanted to eat. I just drank water.

There was delays on the bus. We were stuck on the main road and I don’t know why. I am glad I left early for class. I had missed the bus so the second bus was twenty minutes later. The bus stop was not shoveled out so you had to go out in the street to board. There were mounds of snow every where.

Class was good. We are only having four chapters as we finished proteins today. There is a practice test I will take. I hope I can retake it until I get 100 on it. I did pretty good on the iClicker stuff today. I only got one wrong. I got to read chapter 3 and I will be caught up with my reading. Then I will just have to study.

I am pretty tired. The gallbladder surgeon’s secretary got back to me. I am having surgery June 1^st. I have a few appts in May as pre-op, including seeing the surgeon in person to go over my CT scan. It will be done robotically. I just hope AI isn’t a part of it. I have heard horror stories. AI shouldn’t be in healthcare, at all.

I got therapy tomorrow. I hope it goes well.