midnightdemons7

I am having palpitations and feeling lightheaded. Not sure if it’s anxiety or being dehydrated or both. I don’t remember if I drank yesterday and today I’ve been having to force myself to take some sips. I’ve had my coffee and a smoothie. I didn’t sleep good last night. I woke up around 1am and had sneeze attack. I couldn’t sleep after that. I read my book but couldn’t read more than one chapter. Eventually I fell asleep until bitch sister woke me up. She is an elephant on the stairs. I had to pee. I never went back to sleep.

I figure i go to the library to get my book and the pharmacy to get my migraine med. But it was delayed when my sister wanted me to look out for the concrete guys fixing the walk. They just left when I became lightheaded. I tried taking a nap but kept getting palpitations. I brushed my teeth and shaved. Then felt a spot where I missed. Always miss a spot and can never get a close shave. Sometimes I can get it with my electric shaver. But it sometimes gives me ingrown hairs after.

I keep having a sneeze attack and I don’t know why. Pollen count is less than medium. I think it is scents. My sister has a new hand soap in the bathroom. And my shave gel has a scent.

I got to take a shower. Probably will in an hour. No idea what I’ll wear as my clothes are in the hamper. I don’t feel like doing laundry.

I weighed myself this morning and there was no change. Past three weeks have been the same weight. I know tracking my steps has been difficult as I haven’t been leaving the house that much. If I do go anywhere it is usually with a car. Other than picking up my meds, there hasn’t been a reason to leave the house.

Game is on tonight. It is a nice warm night. Definitely baseball weather.

Couple of errands

I did a couple of errands today after I spoke with my DMH worker. It took me almost an hour to get motivation to leave the house. I was tired and I don’t know what is making me so tired lately. I could barely stay awake during my therapy session yesterday. But then I was up all night in pain. I tried explaining chronic pain to my case worker and I think I fell on deaf ears.

I slept late again today as my puppy is with her dad. It was awfully quiet here this afternoon. I had my coffee and not much else. I wasn’t really hungry. After my appt, I eventually got dressed and made it to the bus stop in time. The bus just pulled up as I approached. I returned my library books and went to get the new one but I couldn’t remember the name of the book. Then I picked up my meds. I have to go back tomorrow because I didn’t have money for the migraine meds. I don’t get paid till tomorrow. I forgot that.

I was eating some granola as I was hungry after having a sandwich for supper and I think it further broke my tooth. Fuck. I got to figure a way to see that dentist that does sedation. It really sucks my insurance doesn’t cover more than what I pay for.

I have the day off tomorrow aside from needing to pick up my migraine med. I can make a few phone calls if I am up to it. I don’t have weekend plans. Sox are off today so I can read some more of the TB book. It is really interesting.

Low energy and mood

Past few days, I have barely left the bed, either my own or my niece’s. I have been sleeping more than usual. I just feel so tired. I don’t feel like myself. I think the pain is making me depressed. I got low appetite. I barely been eating. I slept till 3pm today and all I had was coffee so far today.

My cousin called me on Sunday to get in touch with her. But I haven’t felt up to talking to anyone unless it via text. I’ve been in a mood to not talk with anyone. It’s raining today so I have the beginning of a migraine as thunderstorms have moved in. Game has been postponed so I guess it is going to be raining the rest of the night.

I have therapy tomorrow. I have been in pain with my foot the past few days. I just feel rotten. I miss my mother. Grief has a weird way of showing up when you least expect it. I feel guilty and I haven’t done anything wrong. I am so tired of being fucking tired. I just don’t want to be anymore. It’s so hard getting up and all I want to do it lay down.

Last night I couldn’t sleep. I had slept a few hours but then I woke up and I couldn’t really get back to sleep. I read a new book about tuberculosis. Come to find out, it is a signed book. I thought it would be a scientific book about the disease but it more of a story about its history across mankind. It is interesting. I once wrote a paper about tuberculosis back when I was studying to be a medical assistant. It was interesting as it not only affects the lungs. It can affect anywhere in the body. But it is so hard to get rid of. The length of treatment keeps most people infected and then resistant to the antibiotics.

I got to pick up my meds tomorrow and return my library books. Therapy is in the afternoon so if I leave at 11, I should have time to be back home. My migraine med is ready but I don’t get paid until Friday. I also got to get some more Tylenol as I am almost out. I also need to get magnesium. Hope they are on sale.