college stuff and other things

College stuff and other things

I was supposed to have my advising appointment this morning but the lady never showed up. I waited twenty minutes for her and nothing. I didn’t even get an apology or anything. I am so mad. I had to reschedule for April, after my surgery because there is still a hold on my account and has to be taken off by an advisor. I know what classes I am taking. I already picked them out. One is online. The rest are in class. I am going to try for three classes. I hope I will be able to do it. I also sent another email to the registrar to see if they can change my log in to something other than my dead name. I explained that it is no longer a legal name. I hope that helps some.

I then had some coffee and something to eat. My aunt came over so I made her coffee, too. We talked for a little while and then I got dressed to see my barber. I needed to get my haircut before surgery. I was sad the learn that someone broke into my barber’s shop and stole some things. I feel bad. After I got my haircut, I got some pizza and Starbucks. My barber and I had lunch together as I just missed the bus.

I came home an hour before my grocery delivery was to arrive. I checked my email as my mother was in bed and my other aunt was over. I still need to take a shower. I think I am going to take it before bed. I am still wicked anxious. I didn’t sleep well despite taking the trazodone. It didn’t help me sleep like I wanted it too. I was up around 330 again. My leg and foot were so itchy from being dry. I scratched them pretty good, took the skin off. Ouch. I sort of snoozed until my med alarm went off. I didn’t get up but did when my alarm for the zoom appointment went off. I didn’t want to get up.

I have one more appointment for tomorrow and that is it. Then I need to clear off my bed and change my sheets. Debating to do this Sunday so that the stupid foam will stay in place a little longer. Fucking thing isn’t supposed to move yet it does. Half of it hangs off the bed and takes the sheet with it. I sleep on one side of the bed so it doesn’t really matter but it bothers me that my bed can’t stay together for more than a week or two.

eye appointment and other things

Eye appointment and other things

My niece had to go to the dentist this morning so I had mom duty. She did ok until her side started bothering her. I felt bad.

Around 1130 I started to get ready for my appointment. I had to take the bus to the station and the trains were not going their normal speeds. I should have left later but you never know what will happen on the green line so I left when I did. I was an hour early for my appointment. I looked around the store at the different frames. I really didn’t want to get a new frame but it wasn’t going to cost me anything so I looked. I found one that looked good. I had my appointment. My vision didn’t change that much in a year, which was good. I paid for the exam and the new glasses with transition lenses. It didn’t cost me as much as it did last year.

Then I went home. I snoozed most of the way home. I was tired. My knee was flaring up and I want so bad to take some ibuprofen but I can’t because I am so close to my surgery. All I can take is Tylenol. I want to cry. I am in some pain.

Game is on tonight so I will listen to it. I have been following the games all week but haven’t had time to listen because I have been taking care of my mother. I have two appointments tomorrow but they shouldn’t be too stressful. I have my advising appointment. I just got to have it so I can register for classes for the fall. I think I am going to take college algebra and Italian 102, if I can. Sometimes they won’t let you take a language 102 unless it is the semester after you take 101. It has been years since I took 101. I got a B in it so I passed. My friend told me about Duolingo so I plan on practice with it so I can remember how to speak it and get used to the language again.

I am really tired so I don’t know if I am going to listen to the entire game. I am gonna try though!!

four appts down, four to go

Four appointments down, four to go

I woke up early this morning. I don’t know what time it was because I didn’t look at my phone. It was before my sister got up and a little after daylight started to filter in. I didn’t get up. I was hoping to fall back asleep before my niece called me but that didn’t happen. My aunt came over a little after my niece left. I was watching my mother. She just took her morning meds. Lately she hasn’t been wanting to take them. I don’t blame her. But she has to take them.

Around 1330 I left the house. I went to PT. It was good. My thigh is all knotted and it is the reason why my knee hurts. I got to work out the knots. Then I had my appointment with my pcp. We discussed going on pain meds. She said she is open to it but needs to talk to my psychiatrist for some reason. She explained why they took me off the opiates while I was in the hospital but I didn’t hear all of it. I guess since I was out of it and wasn’t complaining of pain, they just stopped it. Now I got to go through hoops to get back on it. Not at the dose I was on, just a pill at night so I can get some relief for my ankle/foot. My pcp wants my PT to look at it at my next appointment to see if PT can help with the pain. I have been down this road before with this. Not going to happen. I see her in two weeks, the day I am to have my drains and stitches out.

After my pcp appointment, I walked home to use the bathroom. As I was leaving the house again to go into town, my bro in law was pulling out of the driveway and asked if I wanted a ride. I said sure. He drove me to the station. The mammogram went ok but I am so glad I never have to have one again. It was a long train ride home. The train I got on wasn’t going the normal speed I am accustomed to so I thought I missed my stop. I didn’t thank god. I was pretty tired and all I wanted to do was go home. Luckily, the bus was at the station so I didn’t have to wait too long.

I came and I am exhausted. I don’t have the mental energy to read Adler tonight. I still haven’t finished the vain chapter. Maybe tomorrow night. I might be just as exhausted because I have to take the train to my appointment. It is outside of Boston. I know the train will be slow because they have reduced speeds due to track problems. But that is tomorrow’s adventure. I am going to listen to Taylor’s Fearless TV album and chill.

didn’t think I would write

Didn’t think I would write

Didn’t think I would write today but decided to. I am feeling anxious. My surgeon’s office called twice today. Once to tell me not to take aspirin or NSAIDs from now until next week. I hope my knee doesn’t flare up. The second phone call was to see if I had a mammogram. I haven’t so I need to get one tomorrow evening. That makes three appointments for tomorrow. Ugh. I am just glad I was able to get an appointment this week.

I had therapy this morning. It went ok. She wanted to know how I am going to handle the stress of the week. I said I would be using take a step back and the DBT skill STOP. I also will be using music and probably showering more. I plan on taking a shower before bed tonight as I stink. I just sweat so much when I sleep. I really hope the sweat doesn’t cause an infection when I have my surgery.

I started off this morning getting misgendered by my mother and aunt. My aunt always talks it off as being old and I am like that is bullshit. It is just an excuse and it pisses me off. Then while I was in therapy, the other aunt came over and they started yelling. Over nothing as usual. I can’t stand them. I had started feeling a little dysphoria yesterday about the things on my chest. I want to shower but I don’t want to look down on my chest. Just sucks. I know they aren’t going to be with me for too much longer.

I finally brushed my teeth today after missing for two days. I was so glad I did it. Now if I can shower, that will really make me happy. I was able to shower. I just ran downstairs and did it really quick. I am so tired now. I was going to read my book but I don’t think I can concentrate. I just want to listen to Taylor and relax. I have a big day tomorrow.