another long day on campus

Another long day on campus

My bitch sister woke me up when she was getting ready for work because she had to pet the puppy. The puppy was laying on me. I had gone to my niece’s bed because I had such bad reflux I couldn’t lay down on my bed. Her bed is adjustable and my sister had elevated the head, which is what I needed. I slept good otherwise tho I didn’t want to get up when my alarms went off. I had set one at 830 and another at 930, a half hour before my therapy appt. I reluctantly got up like 10 minutes before the appt.

We talked about class. I told her how I was going to leave early today to talk to my lecturer about my grade. About 15 minutes before we ended she asked how I was after our last session where we talked about the trauma of my second relationship. I told her because I was sleep deprived, I kept getting anxiety attacks whenever I tried to doze off. Normally I would take an Ativan but I had class to attend and I couldn’t risk falling asleep on the train or in class. We also talked about my upcoming surgery and the help that I will possibly need. Some time during the month of May I need to clear my bed and change my sheets. I am going to ask the bitch sister to help me because I get overwhelmed by everything and then I don’t do anything. I told my therapist I feel lazy and she gave me the what would you say to a friend speal. I hate that rhetoric.

After therapy, I made coffee. I didn’t know what to eat. I had a biscuit thingy but I was still hungry. I went down to my sister’s apt and made a cold cut sandwich. I had some chips with it. Then I stole some almond Joy mini bars. It is one of my favorite candies. I went upstairs and had another cup of coffee. I drank the rest of my Powerade during my therapy session. I think I have another UTI so I am taking pyridium. It’s helping with the uncomfortable sensations and urgency. I just hope I don’t pee my pants again.

I played my game until it was time to leave for campus. I left around 230 and got to campus around 340. I had something to eat at the food court to pass the time as the lecturer’s hours didn’t start until 4. Then I walked across campus to her office. I had to stop a couple times because my legs were still killing me from yesterday. I don’t know how they are going to be tomorrow when I will be walking about the same distance around Boston between my DMH worker’s office and the hospital building I need to go to for my ultrasound. The lecturer said that if I get at least a 70 on the next exam and final, I should be able to pass with a C. I was so relieved. I had an hour before class started after I met with her. I had to walk across campus again and a little more to the auditorium where class was held, which was the last building next to the campus center. Class was good and she let us out 5 minutes early. I still missed the bus when I got to my station. I had to wait a half hour for the next one.

I came home and the puppy was crying when she saw me. I petted her and then told her to go up because I had to pee. She went into the bathroom with me. She just wanted pets. Then she went upstairs because my sister left the stairs unblocked. She sat outside my bedroom waiting for me. I told my sister I was too tired to go downstairs tonight. I normally would have slept with her as my niece still isn’t home. I don’t know where she is and it is pissing me off that she isn’t taking responsibility for her dog. I told her I was having surgery and wouldn’t be able to care for the pup for a couple of weeks. She never responded. My legs are killing me and my left leg is all swelled up and painful. I hope the ultrasound tomorrow isn’t painful. I think I might wear my PJs just so I don’t have to change. I seen people wear their PJs all the time. Mine are flannel and can pass as street clothes.

lab is over!

Lab is over!

I did not want to get up today. I just wanted to stay with the puppy. It was a nice day. It reached 57 which isn’t bad. I just wore my sweatshirt. I left for lab kind of late because the puppy was on me and I didn’t want to move. But I had to. I got dressed and almost forgot my lab manual. I went back to get it.

The bus was kind of late to arrive. It had said 16 minute but it was more like 20 before it showed up. The train was ok. I got to campus with a half hour to spare. I saw my lecturer and wanted to speak to her but I was too scared to approach her. I will see her tomorrow during office hours. She still has not responded to my emails.

The lab TA said this was going to be our last lab and I was internally jumping for joy. She said I was failing lab and that I could submit a prelab that I missed on one of my absences. I thumbed through my manual and found one I filled out but didn’t turn in. She accepted it. I am hoping that with the essay grade, I can pull up to at least a solid D. We did E. Coli work today and it was fast. I left around 4pm. I was going to go to Chipotle to celebrate but the damn bank closed and I couldn’t use my card again. I had to go to another ATM closer to me to get a withdrawal. I will go tomorrow after class.

I went to the pharmacy and picked up my meds. By the time I reached it, I felt like I had to pee again but I went before I left campus. I got a Gatorade and while I was paying for it, I lost control and leaked. I feel like I have another UTI. I took pyridium when I came home. It is cold in my room as the temp dropped and the wind has picked up.

I listened to the Sox on the way home last night. I don’t know how I stayed awake till the end of the of game but I did. They won 5-0. Tonight, Tolle is on the mound. He had a terrific start his last outing but his relievers let him get a no decision which I was pissed about. Sox have won their last three games. Hope the winning continues. We’ll see…

long ass Monday

Long ass Monday

I have been up since 3 but I don’t really think I slept as I was sleeping with the puppy until then. Around 5 I got up to do my paper. I should have looked to see if there was homework due but I didn’t and there was. I decided to wait till after therapy to do it but it was closed. Fuck. I don’t remember if we could miss a homework assignment or not. I will have to check the syllabus. There are a shit load of homework to do. One is due next week. I have to read the damn chapter as I missed Wed last week and am behind again. I didn’t want to miss it but it was my niece’s birthday.

I have had three cups of coffee and no naps but I did rest. I got a migraine around 6 so I have been dealing with a lingering sleep deprived headache since. I have about an hour before I have to go to class. The teacher got back to me about my failing lab grade but never responded to my response. I am pissed off. At this point, I can only hope for a D if I pass everything from here on out.

I took a shower today. I was out of soap so used my body wash. I love the way it smells. Today pollen count is high and already my throat is killing me from clearing it so much. I had two sneeze attacks so far. I am sure when I leave I will have more. I hate this time of year. It is warm today and the puppy has been outside since she decided to get up. I tried to get her up when I was up but she was like hell no.

Therapy was good. We talked about trauma a little bit. I told her about my past relationships and how they went. We also talked about scheduling in May which is tricky because I have so many appts. We did manage at least one a week for the month. My crazy week has one appt with her. I think the only day I don’t have anything is that Friday. Somehow I need to study for my exam and final that week. I will also be seeing a long time friend the week before. He is coming to his graduation. I wish I could attend but it is in western MA and I don’t have transportation there. He is coming to Boston for some sightseeing with his hubby who I will finally meet in person rather than just talk online to.

I have no idea what I am going to wear for class. I hate having to leave the house sometimes. I need to buy more sweatpants or lounge wear, whatever the fuck is comfortable other than jeans. I miss going to Walmart. I refuse to go to Target because they are anti-LGBTQ. They lost my business forever. I would say the same to Amazon but, fuck, it is too convenient. Ok. I have like twenty minutes to take a catnap. I will write more tomorrow.