frustrating day

Frustrating day

I have no idea why I have urethral pain so I have been cathing to avoid the pain of peeing. I don’t have an appointment with uro till next week. That is a long time to be in pain. My PCP said I could take the pyridium pills to help with the pain. I hate taking them because they cause retention really bad sometimes and I have to cath because it has been hours. Right now the pain is at a low level so we’ll see. My uro never answered the message I sent her about how the testing results ended up going to my PCP instead of her. I haven’t heard back. I was trying to get seen sooner but there are no openings.

I texted my therapist a lot today. I was hurting and just needed to vent to someone. She probably will say something when we meet. I am thinking of going back to partial for a few weeks. I don’t know if this will interfere with PT appointments. They have a partial partial where you meet for three days a week and attend just three groups a day, your choice.

Past two days I have not been taking my beta blocker as my pcp and I agreed to stop taking it. So far my blood pressure is ok was a little low this morning. I just took is now and it is lower than it was. I think it is because of the large dose of Neurontin that I took. I am sure it will be fine in the morning. I am not dizzy or anything but I am going to make sure I drink at least one bottle of Gatorade tonight. I really haven’t been drinking much today like I normally do. I don’t think I have had a meal other than the pancakes that I heated up. They had protein in it so I have something solid in my stomach. I also had some pretzels so I think I am fine food wise. I had some fruit today, too.

I wrote a message to my therapist early this morning and she didn’t respond. I was really hoping she would but she didn’t. I guess we will just talk about it on Monday. I gave her a list of questions that I would like answered first though. They are mostly concerning how we are doing in therapy. One of the questions I asked was Is she frustrated with me. Another question I asked was how does she think our alliance is. I asked this to find out if we are on the same page or not. The last question was about if she knew about corrective experiences. I think it would be nice if she has some experience in this.

journal entry 160621 0240

Journal entry 160621 0240

I’ve been in a weird brain fog. I tried to blog and even though I had a lot to say, nothing was coming to me. My mind was blank. I hate feeling like this.

I had a good day. Came out to my racist homophobic aunt and my mother’s friends. I wish I could have taken a picture of her face as my sister was trying to tell her my name was G not my birthname. Got scheduled for my hysterectomy. Got scheduled for derm, which I need to reschedule because it is on the same day as my post op visit and I don’t think I can handle two visits the same day. I didn’t see the derm I wanted to but it’s ok. I want to be seen sooner than December.

Met with PCP. He had a PA student with him. Blood work is fine but my urinalysis still shows infection or inflammation. I can’t tell, which would be the cause of my urethra pain. My A1c was perfect, lower than last time.

I set up an appointment with my therapist. I want to ask her questions and she said to send them so she has them when we meet so I did that.

I am waiting to hear back from uro on my urine results and getting an appointment. It is supposed to be either with NP or MD whichever has the earlier availability.

Neck hurts so I just took a BT med with some Tylenol. Ankle is also hurting. Fucker. Meant to tell PCP about my jaw and forgot. I guess I will have to see the dentist for this. I haven’t had a cleaning since before the pandemic so I am due for one.

PT is on vacation so I have nothing the rest of the week. Tomorrow I’m going food shopping again. I’ll probably buy more chicken tenders. Definitely need water. Will get some more Gatorade too.

Last night I made lemon chicken with zucchini and rice. It was really good. I really like it a lot and can’t wait to make it again.

I just cathed 300 cc’s or so. I didn’t have the urge but I knew I had urine in me. I feel better now that I am empty. I always do.

I am to stop the labetalol and record my BP for a week to see how it is. I am to send the reading to my PCP so he can see how I am doing. I wish he wanted to get rid of the lisinopril. I kind of like the beta blocker for the anti-anxiety effects.

kind of a blah day

Kind of a blah day

I was able to shave and shower today. My back is still flared up from it. I have been trying to rest it out but might need to take something. My ankle is flared up too. Always happens when I shower. I just took some pain meds and an Ativan because my back is cramping up painfully.

I didn’t do much today except rest. I am really tired for some reason. I see my pcp tomorrow morning. I hope I have a brain. Morning appointments are can be a challenge for me. I have somethings I want to discuss with him, mostly getting fasting labs. I think this will be my physical as I haven’t had one in a while.

I have been in a blah mood all day. I haven’t felt any energy or anything all day. I started writing a friend a letter and I couldn’t even finish it. I want to keep this blog going but I think today I am just going to write 250 words rather than 500 so at least I have some accomplishment for the day.

My PCP wanted me to contact uro on the urethral pain I am having and she got back to me. I am to have another culture and then follow up with her or her NP. Fun. And it will be virtually so I don’t have to worry about an exam or leaving with a catheter. It really feels like nerve pain but from what I don’t know. Weird that all of a sudden this happens.

Sox are playing the Jays tonight. The last game in the series. Nate Eovaldi is on the mound. I hope he can be nasty. We need a win after we got slapped silly yesterday. I am starting to think Fenway is cursed. We haven’t been successful in winning games there.