therapy and covid

Therapy and covid

I got a message this morning from my surgeon. He said my CT looks good and that I am healing. If I have pain to see him so next week I will see him (provided my Covid test is negative) as I still have pain in my arm. Since my last PT session, I have had less pain but my arm muscles are still sore for whatever reason.

My PT got back to me. She wants to see me in person and to call the front desk to see if this is possible. It isn’t possible because they are going by the 14 day rule rather than current CDC guidelines. I made an appointment for five more sessions. I took a shower today and my arm is hurting from moving my arm to wash up and wash my hair. I wanted to shave my underarms as a forest is there but I couldn’t lift my arm high enough to do it so said fuck it.

I had therapy today. We talked about my sister and her hissy fits. She wants me to not take blame when she goes off on something. I said I will try. She said that she is going back to virtual full time again because the cases are getting big again. Hospital wants to minimize traffic. I would have seen her today if I didn’t have to isolate because of my nephew having covid.

The only medication I have taken on “time” today has been my 4pm meds. I have taken my morning and T shot late. I actually almost forgot to take it until I looked at the calendar. My bladder urge has been horrible today. I either get it and can’t cath or I get it while I am cathing, which hasn’t been good as urine has gone down my leg today. Shower helped clear my nose and eyes for a bit. The dust in my room was really getting to me. Eyes were tearing while I was in therapy.

I don’t know why my left elbow is hurting me. It has to be because of the arm muscles being tight. I have been bad about using heat the past few days. I have the heat pack in the kitchen but I don’t like to spend time there because of Covid isolation. I have been drinking my coffee in my room most days.  I have been trying to keep up with fluids as I don’t know if this running nose I have today is cold or covid or allergies. I don’t feel sick. I am my usual brand of tired. I took a Benadryl to see if this is allergies and now I am sneezing so it might be a cold. I slept till 830 this morning because I shut my phone off. I had a few messages. I am glad I shut it off because the surgeon called before 8 am and I would have been pissed if he woke me up.

I have a can of corn chowder that I think I am going to have for supper. Just hope we have enough milk.

new year new positive

New Year new positive

So my nephew is positive for Covid and so we need to isolate for the next week or so. I will have to test one of these days but I am not sure where to go as the place I went to in the past is closed. I will have to call my doctor’s office and find out where to go.

I have been going through my inbox trying to clean it out. I have 48 unread messages, down from 60. I also have been sending read mail either to the trash or to read mail for archive. I haven’t gone through all 100+ emails yet but I am sure by day’s end, it will be cleaned up.

I plan on reading more this week. I have less than 100 pages in the Medical Apartheid book I am reading. I can’t wait to be done with this book because it is so sad and angering. I plan on reading Rory O’Connor’s book When it is darkest next. It is about his suicide research and about suicide in general. I heard it was good and I have followed Rory’s research the past several years now. He is based in Scotland.

I still need to do my meds for the week. I got to call my pcp office tomorrow. I don’t know who will be prescribing meds for me from now on as my PCP has left the practice. I don’t know if I will need to be seen because my heart rate has been in the 100s the past few days. I have stopped the new meds and my blood pressure was high this morning. I will have to check it again tomorrow and see what it is.

The new box of catheters I opened has a lot of defective caths in it. So far there have been five in the box. I took a pic of the lot number I plan on sending to the company when I am done with it because there may be more in there that I don’t know about yet. I have an appointment with the uro NP this week. It will be good to see her to check in. Things have been going okay so far. I still have the bladder pain when I empty but I guess that is just something I have to live with. I am glad I got my uterus taken out so I don’t have to guess anymore where the pain is coming from.

My shoulder pain has been mild the past few days. Taking Excedrin has been so helpful. I cannot put on sweatshirts/hoodies. It hurts too much to pull the shirt down. I also hurt when pulling up my pants so I got to be careful about how high I go. I cannot scratch my left boob or side without excruciating pain. I am glad I have a back scratcher for my back itch. I am glad it is settling down some. Still two weeks before I see the surgeon.

I think because I have been taking extra pain meds my CRPS pain has been down. My ankle hasn’t been as flared up as it usually is. It will still get cold and I will have to wear socks to warm it up and keep it warm.

champagne problems and last blog post of 2021

Champagne problems and last blog of 2021

Thought I would close out the year with Taylor’s song Champagne Problems. I am listening on repeat because I am not going to my sister’s party. I am in too much pain with my shoulder. I took some meds to hopefully quiet it down. If it feels better, I might make an appearance, if only to have an empanada. I am not going to order Chinese food like I was hoping to. I am just not in the mood.

This blog has been a holdstead for me. I have been trying to write every day but that hasn’t worked out so well. I had a stretch of 79 days together and then because I wasn’t feeling well Christmas Eve, I didn’t write and lost it. I am currently on day six in a row so there is hope I will get to 365 or even 100.

The puppy pic for today is Arlo the bulldog. I have been following him on Twitter and he has my heart. He is such a doll.

I think I am going to color in my dinosaur book, the new one I bought and then post it when it is done. Maybe it will be a blog post. I don’t know yet…

therapy and pain and shoulder and and

Therapy and pain and shoulder and and

So my third pair of glasses were delivered this morning around 0830. I have been up since 6 when I had to get up to pee. I didn’t want to go back to sleep because then I would feel shitty for the rest of the day. I didn’t want coffee just yet so just charged my phone and read Twitter. There were three packages when the mail was delivered, all for me. My cousin gave me THE OSU sweatshirt! It was the best present. He said it was from my godmother. I was close to tears but they wouldn’t fall. I thought we would discuss this in therapy but other stuff got discussed.

I wanted to go to the grocery store for coffee and half and half so I left. I took a bus there and then took a cab home as I knew I wouldn’t be able to carry the stuff home. My mother wanted eggs as she was making cookies so I got four dozen. I also completed the last of my Christmas shopping by picking up Ferraro candy for my niece.

I just chilled a bit when I came home from the grocery store. I still had to figure out a way to wrap my mother’s present, which didn’t come in a box like I thought it would. So I had one of my prescription boxes that was small enough and put it in there then put it in a larger box then put it in another box that I intended to wrap the gift in. I gave the box to my mother to wrap telling her not to open it.

I was in a lot of pain with my shoulder so I contemplated going to therapy. I asked the therapist and she said it was up to me. I knew if I didn’t show up, I wasn’t going to see her till the new year as she is on vacation next week. She said with patients like me she needs a month off, and I laughed because I knew she was right and not kidding. She told me I was messaging her too much and that I needed to journal more. She wants me to be more independent and less dependent on her. I have a problem with this. I’ve always depended on my therapist to be there and if she isn’t going to be there for me, wtf. She seems to think that she is only available during the 45 mins we are in session and no time in between. I have a problem with this. I have always been able to reach my therapists outside of session when I needed to. Granted the times I have been in touch with her are not urgent but still I like to convey things to her during the week. It is hard not to think about her when I am processing my recovery.

The thing that gets me is that this therapist never asks questions about me. Like she isn’t interested in me. I only have to speak my mind for the session to continue. My previous therapist of 16 years was all about me. She wanted to know what I was doing 24/7. We kept in touch even though we ended. It still hurts that we ended. I never processed her leaving me. And I never will with this therapist. She makes me feel like she is uninterested in me, just another slot in her calendar. Like I am unimportant. I know I should probably find someone else but it is so hard to find someone that is willing to take me on and that takes my insurance and is within T range.

I got a hold of the shoulder surgeon’s secretary today. I am scheduled for the arthrogram tomorrow. I am scared shitless. I looked up how it is done and I am feeling a little bit better about it but I know it is going to be painful as fuck. I plan on taking 2 mg of Ativan before the procedure and 2 BT meds afterwards. I just hope I can carry my water bottle. I also need to make sure I do have my water bottle because my uro wants another urine sample to make sure I don’t have an infection. I had planned on starting the vaginal estrogen tomorrow as I want to shower but it will have to be postponed. Seeing as I need to put this on twice a week and after I bathe, I think showering Tues and Thurs is a good idea and easy to remember. I just don’t know if it will mess up the test results so best not to put it on tomorrow.

I am fucking tired as fuck right now. I just took my night meds. I was late again in taking them. I like to take them between 7 and 730p because for some reason, that is when they work best and I am usually in bed by 10 the latest, if not before. I didn’t brush my teeth this morning so I am going to do so before bed when I empty my bladder before attempting to sleep.