Therapy and other stuff
I had therapy today. I managed to drink two cups of coffee before session. I was determined not to do EMDR today because I had wicked bad dreams last night and I didn’t want to get more dysregulated than I already was. When I brought up the dreams, my therapist didn’t even ask about them. I told her they were disturbing and then she was kind of gung-ho about doing an EMDR session. I was like no, not happening. She said I am avoiding again. She really pissed me off but I didn’t tell her that. She never meets me where I am at. At the end of the session, she told me to do one DBT skill for the week. I told her I would try. Now I got to find a skill that I can do.
I realized during session that a bunch of anniversaries are coming up in the next month, particularly in the next two weeks. One is my top surgery. I will be 6 months post op. Then I will have the anniversary of going on T, followed by the anniversary of my mother’s death. I also have my official name change later this month. I am going to do something. I just don’t know what yet.
I have to go grocery shopping for a few items. I need to get a pie for tomorrow as I am going to see my cousin that lives south of Boston. I don’t remember the last time I saw her. It has been a while. It should be a good day. I just hope the traffic isn’t horrible.
I loaded my Starbucks card so now I have funds for coffee. I plan on going there at least a few times a week so I can read Managing Suicide Risk, 3rd Edition. I want to spend the month reading it. I think it should take me at least two weeks to read it. I also plan on writing a review on it so people can read it. I didn’t get a huge response with my Critical Suicidology review.
Stupid Elon changed Twitter to X without an update on my phone and I am so fucking pissed. Now I am getting X notifications from the people I follow who I don’t ordinarily get them from. Like What the FUCK. I don’t care if Mary retweeted John or quoted him in doing so. I think I am going to take the app off my phone and just look at it when I am on my laptop. I have been on BlueSky. I sort of like it. A lot less hate than X. I hate that Twitter isn’t Twitter anymore. It is just a hate filled cesspool.
I got to shave and do something about my mustache. I need to trim it and I think I am going to try and trim it to one that is above 1/8. Maybe ¾. I don’t know. I just hope I don’t fuck it up so bad I need to shave it off cuz that will suck. I also got to do something about my chin hair. It is ragged and uneven. I can’t trim it too close because then it feels weird and the hairs pinch me when I lick my lips. I will try and see if I can do them the same length as my mustache. Then I will go to the store. I don’t know when I am going to pick up my meds. Maybe tomorrow if I come back early enough from my cousins outing. Otherwise, it will have to wait until Wednesday.
midnightdemons7 