Tired from one fricken outing
I had a dentist appointment today. I got up a couple of hours before it so I could shower and shave. I had my last k-cup of real coffee. Now I just have the fake stop and shop brand coffees which suck. I wanted to go to the grocery store after my appointment but I was too fucking tired. I spent like two hours at the dentist. I had a cleaning and then was seen by the dentist to go over the work that I need on my teeth. I have a tooth that needs a root canal and cavities all over the place. It is going to cost me close to a grand just for the root canal, which thankfully includes the crown. The first time I had a root canal I had to pay like $1500 and that didn’t include the crown. I luckily had a nice Russian dentist following up that gave me a crown for nothing. He is long gone now. This place wants money up front and I don’t have it. It is going to take me a long while to save a grand. I still need to save up to $500 for the editor. I am slowly paying off my credit card debt that I got behind on but there are still some cards I haven’t been able to make a payment on because the minimum is too high.
I had therapy yesterday and we spent the entire session talking about how to deal with my sister. It wasn’t a good session. We both got aggravated with each other. She wanted me to work on my cognitive distortions but I had a hard time coming up with some. She had to literally define it for me because I was so lost. By the time I figured it out, session was up. I hate it when she throws CBT at me and then some DBT shit. She kept on saying I was in emotional mind, a DBT term. The distortions are CBT. I was so aggravated. I fucking hated when she said I was “making myself depressed” because of the cognitive aspect of it all. Like fuck, how are you supposed to feel when she has no sympathy because I am depressed and thinks I am supposed to be “cured” because I had top surgery and am on meds and in therapy! Like WTF.
I am stressed out over money. My account is overdrawn by $90, which means I am going to be short my next pay period. I still owe my sister money for the gas and electric bills. I am trying to pay every thing but its fucking hard when you only get paid once a month and it is the same amount each month. And birthday month is coming up. I want to get my baby sister something nice for all the things she does for me. I missed her birthday last year because I was in the hospital. I am glad we aren’t celebrating Christmas this year so I don’t have to worry about gifts. We are going away but I am not sure I can afford meals. Just truly sucks.
midnightdemons7 