For the past several hours, I’ve been trying to write. I added almost 200 words to my suicidaliyy essay. I read it over. It is good writing. I might blog it when I am done. But it took me a really long time to write something.
I keep thinking about how I was eight and suicidal. By the time I was ten, I was a planner. I didn’t know what was causing me so much pain but I was in agony. I pretended things were fine but I ached so bad inside. I just knew I had to die. Some parts of me still feel like this might still happen.
I don’t have the energy to concentrate for reading. I shaved finally though it took me most of the day to do it. I just couldn’t find the energy. I’ve been down most of the day. I just want to sleep. I woke up around 4 with my shirt all wet. I’ve been having night sweats for a couple of weeks now. I sent a message to my doc but haven’t heard back. Maybe tomorrow.
I got to pick up my meds tomorrow. The new migraine med should be ready. I might go to Starbucks and read for a bit before picking them up.
midnightdemons7 