Tiring Sunday
I woke up around 5 with allergies so bad I had to take a Benadryl. I went back to sleep for a few hours and just had the sheet on me. I woke up drenched in sweat. I need to take a shower but it has been a day. I forgot that I ordered my groceries. Around the time I finally had motivation to shower, the delivery was on its way so I couldn’t. I went up and down the stairs so many times that by 2pm I was exhausted and I only been up for four hours. I rested for a bit. I went up and down a few more times. My niece made pasta salad and my sister made a burger which I was craving. I had wanted to go to the butcher shop to get some burgers but still haven’t gone.
I have a shit ton of books to read. I bought the Principles of Psychology and it is a textbook. It will be my summer read. I honestly don’t know what to do with myself now that classes have ended. I fired my therapist so I no longer have therapy right now. I see my DMH case worker this week. Today has been a rough day. For some reason, I got really angry when I got fatigued. Like I just wanted to yell at someone. Then I just got sad and wished I was fucking dead. All because I didn’t have the energy to shower. I have been sweating all day so I stink on top of my stink. I don’t remember the last time I showered but it has been a few days. My allergies are just making me miserable. I have a knot of phlegm in my throat that I can’t swallow or cough up. I keep clearing my throat and it is so irritated. I have been bad at drinking fluids today. I did drink some water but not a good amount.
I want to go to Starbucks because they have a macadamia nut syrup that is awesome. I want to have an iced latte with it. Their cold brew is delicious but I don’t like the foam, which is flavored macadamia nut. It’s like whipped cream and though I do like it on desserts, I don’t like it for my coffees or lattes. I used flonase today to try and help this congestion. I also took a Sudafed but nothing is helping except the Benadryl which just makes me sleepy. I don’t want to get used to it otherwise it won’t help me sleep. I plan on taking some tonight, again. It really dries me up.
I have been using a bird app to ID the birds that have been chirping. There was a white-breasted Nuthatch that was just heard outside my room. I don’t know where these birds are as there really isn’t that many trees in the back of the house. There used to be but we cut them down. They were dying anyways from neglect or disease, I’m not sure. The yard was a complete mess like the rest of the house when we first moved in.
Part of the stress with the shower, was that my sister took the curtain down to wash it and hasn’t put it back up yet, so I would have to go to the first floor to shower. It just stressed me out because of the stairs. But my sister took a shower so now I know it is up and running again. I am going to trim my armpit hairs as they are long. I might take my beard off. I am not sure yet. But I know I am going to try and shower today.
midnightdemons7 