it’s only Thursday
I woke up around 7 because I had to pee. I thought I would have a virtual meeting with the partial hospital but they wanted me to come in person and there was no way for me to get there. I have no idea where the place is and I know it’s more than an hour away by T. So I am not going into partial. They wanted me to reschedule but I am not going to.
I went back to sleep and then got up for a cup of coffee. It was so fucking humid in the kitchen and worse outside. It has been cloudy all day. I went out to get my meds and burgers. I also got some Italian Anise cookies as a treat. I didn’t go to Starbucks. I was satisfied with the one cup of coffee I had. I came home and I was sweating so much. My shirt was soaked. I was so tired from the heat. I came home just in time as it was starting to rain. Storms are moving in the area.
My textbook has arrived. I am going to be a nerd and start reading it next week. It’s behavioral neuroscience and my brain can get wonky trying to remember technical stuff about the brain. I used to know this shit like the back of my hand but meds and shit messed up my neurotransmitters. I don’t think like I used. I used to have a photographic memory but it’s been so shot I’m lucky if I remember what I have for breakfast.
Today just feels so long and I can’t believe it’s only Thursday and still July. I just feel like this month is never going to end. It just goes on and on. I’ll be glad when my DMH case worker is back. It has been a real help texting or calling her when I need support. I haven’t told anyone about the overdoses I took last week and I am not going to. I don’t understand why my sister wants me to take the barrels in when I am home. Sometimes I can’t walk the length of the driveway and back. Trash hasn’t been picked up yet, anyway. I need to bring my recycling and trash down. I will probably do it after I finish this blog as I need to go downstairs to get my Amazon delivery.
No game tonight. I don’t think I can stand watching them anymore. Of course I say this and the next game I still pay attention to. This weekend is the snakes at Fenway. The stupid change in weather has given me a damn headache and my sinuses hurt. I just want to fucking sleep.
midnightdemons7 