no sleep

No sleep

I was up all night. I had very little sleep and I have been sleepy most of the day. I napped for a little bit but it wasn’t a deep sleep. It was more of a snooze. I got up around noon and had a bagel. I was worried a cup of coffee would upset my stomach but I had it anyway. I was ok. I let the dog out and she scared me. I guess the door blew open and I thought she came inside but she was still outside. She was just laying in the sun.

I cleared off the recycling on my bed. I did my meds. I still have to shower. I haven’t brushed my teeth. I don’t feel like doing any of this stuff. I feel so down. My brain hurts. I feel like a zombie because I didn’t sleep. I am listening to music to try and calm down.

I checked to see if my grades for exam 2 were posted and it was. I got a D so I changed my grade status to pass/fail. I haven’t done any schoolwork today. I am such a bad student. I am going to have some cookies and then hit the books.

I just have class tomorrow and taking care of the puppy. It is supposed to be nice all week. It is cold today though. I hope tomorrow is warmer. I hope I sleep tonight. The puppy got a bath so I will sleep with her tonight possibly.

Last night I was reading this suicide book and it was talking about a life worth living. The writer said that you should come up with reasons for living. I always had difficulty with this because I think it is a guilt trip. I find more reasons for dying. I am going to talk to my therapist about this, if I remember. It’s about CBT stuff. I am not sure she does CBT.