Category: depression

Went out

I woke up a little before my med alarm went off. I had slept pretty good but it was so hard to get up. I knew I should, so I could have some coffee but I didn’t. I took my meds though and then set my alarm for 1130. I rested for another hour and then reluctantly got up. I went downstairs to brush my teeth. I played with the puppy first. She cuddled next to me and I didn’t want to leave the house. Eventually I made my way to the bathroom to brush my teeth. I brought down my sweatshirt and sneakers so I could just leave. It was getting close to when the bus would be coming.

It was nice out but the wind made it chilly. I just wore my sweatshirt. I didn’t want to wear my jacket. I got my hair shaved and then I went to the pharmacy to pick up my meds. I was at the bus stop when I realized I forgot the thing I ordered. It was too close to the bus coming so I couldn’t go back to the pharmacy. I have another prescription that is being processed so when that is done I will go back and pick it up. I hope it is ready today so I don’t have to go out tomorrow.

I’m going to take a nap. Fuck it.

Pain today

Since Saturday, my gallbladder has been flared and it has continued today. This is my third day of pain. I messaged my pcp and the RN interfered with a bunch of questions. I responded then got nothing back. Assholes.

I had therapy today. She had no insight into why I am dreaming about the psych hospital. Maybe I am because I feel safe there. I don’t have to worry about my safety all the time. We talked about the weekend and I told her how flared up I was Saturday and I didn’t sleep till around 4am yesterday. I slept good last night. I don’t remember if I took trazodone or not. It was really hard for me to get up this morning though. I didn’t want to get up.

I think I am going to have to take a pain pill tonight because the pain in my side hasn’t gone away. I am also getting a headache. Today has been a long day for me. I took care of the puppy. I fed her and cleaned up after her. I thought an hour would be enough time to wait to take her out but it wasn’t. She pooped on the kitchen and peed twice under the kitchen table, her new favorite spot. I had a 3^rd cup of coffee after therapy. It didn’t give me any energy and I still felt blah.

I decided today to make an appt with the barber so get my head shaved. I will be going Wed. I hope my prescription for my migraine med will be in by then. It’s out of stock right now. I made an appt to see my psychiatrist on Thurs. I hope he can help with the depression. I am really struggling with it. I hate being tired all the damn time. All I want to do is sleep or lay down. I am worried that I may end up skipping class because I don’t want to go because I am too depressed. Three straight days of being on campus is going to be a huge effort for me. And especially as they are at night, it is going to be even more so that I have enough spoons for class. I have to plan my dinner because of taking the Latuda. Otherwise I will be drinking Ensure if I don’t feel like eating. I need to get another case of it. I hate that it costs so much.

Saturday Blog 10012026

I woke up early enough for me to go out and get my prescriptions. I had two cups of coffee. The first irritated my stomach and the second was a doozy. I had it with my sister and was able to eat some cornbread which helped. I then had an uncrustable pb&j which helped as well. I picked up my favorite Japanese dish in the frozen section of the pharmacy. I was tempted to try the noodles but it costed more so I got the rice dish. I had some pizza when I came home. I was only able to eat one slice again.

The felon is causing so much damage and his minions are killing innocent people that are citizens of the country. I hope to god that the midterms are not a buy out by his billionaires. The country may never recover if the dems don’t get control of the house and senate. It’s making me sick to hear every day all the idiotic things he is thinking and then doing, especially with Venezuela. I hope Greenland isn’t next.

I have had another migraine this morning that finally went away with my migraine meds. I had to call in a refill because I only have like six pills left and no refills. It was the fourth of the week. Tomorrow there is a chance of rain. It has been a crappy week of rain or snow. Supposed to snow next week, too. Of course, my meeting with my DMH worker is that day. I think I will just have a phone call with her, if it does snow.

I need to go to the grocery store soon as I am running low on half and half. I don’t really need anything else besides deli meat. I have been craving a roast beef sandwich. Maybe I can get my sister to take me after we have lunch with my cousins tomorrow. It should be a good day, even if it does rain. I just hope I don’t get another fricken migraine. I am so tired when they leave.

I finally decided to hang the cap holder behind my door but the problem is I am too short to put it where I want it. My sister was able to put it over my door but I can’t slide it where I want it. Frustrating. I hate being short. I need a step stool for everything. I asked my brother in law if he could come up to move it where it needs to go. He is tall enough, lol. My sister had to stand on her tip toes to put it where it is now. Ugh. I need to bring down some recycling as they are piling up again. I am tired and want a nap but I know if I don’t do this now, I won’t do it later.