Category: depression

It took an hour for me to log on to my laptop after three tries. I am unable to open word as it cannot update for whatever reason. I am still locked out of school’s email. I can’t get the authenticator to give me a code.

I got an email from the lecturer saying pre lab is due the first lab. It’s eleven fricken pages. I looked at the fiest question and have no idea how to answer it. Just wonderful. I sent the PDF to Staples to print it out because I am locked out of the app that I can send printing to. I am so frustrated.

I slept really late today. I was in the middle of a weird dream when my sister called me asking me if I was up. I said no and tried to go back to sleep. I couldn’t. Then I had to pee so I was forced to get up. After I peed, I brushed my teeth. I already took my meds at like 7. I haven’t had anything to eat yet. I just asked my sister if there is pizza leftover. If there isn’t I’ll have soup.

The temp in my room is finally down. I shut the ceiling fan off. It was nice. I tried to sleep with the pup last night as my niece went out but then she came home and I was second news.

I got therapy tomorrow. I actually have things every day this week. Going to be a long week. I got to get started on my reading. I was hoping after my niece’s party I would read, but I was too tired. I was in a lot of pain in various parts of my body. It took me forever to get to sleep. My gallbladder was hurting me the most. I was really tempted to go to the ED. But it was after 8pm and I didn’t feel like being there all night, especially after I took my meds.

I meant to write something yesterday but I got really tired after going down the rabbit hole of Bluesky. It makes me so angry that the Department of Justice is blatantly ignoring the Constitution. Totally pisses me off.

I lost my blog streak of like 11 days. I had gone up to 832 straight days but then I forgot a day and even tho I back tracked, it didn’t work.

I spent like a good half hour trying to put on my new case for my phone. The charger plug was getting worn and was starting to break off. Plus when I had to be in the hospital, I broke the supporting bar. I was so mad. Anyways, the new case came with a screen protector and once I figured out how to put my phone in, everything clicked into place. I also got a new charger cord as mine is finicky and sometimes doesn’t fast charge anymore.

I’ve been up since 2am. I sneezed my head off for like an hour. I was so thirsty because my room is so hot. I had to take my PJs off. I was also very thirsty. I alternated between powerade and water. For some reason the water upset my stomach. So weird.

It’s 7°F right now. My CRPS foot is killing me. The bones are aching so bad. I got to pick up my pain meds. I’m going to try and do it tomorrow before my niece’s party. She will be 30. My baby isn’t a baby anymore 😭.

I tried reading my textbook last night and my mind wandered. I couldn’t focus. I was also tired. I had gone out to get my pneumo vaccine that my pcp recommended. I am all caught up on my vaccines now.

I am glad there is no paper writing for my class. Just 4 exams including the final. We have an option of not taking one exam that won’t affect our grade. I just hope I can have close to perfect attendance in class and lab. I need to figure out a way to print off the slides. Right now I am locked out of my student email and have no idea how to log back in because the 2FA authenticator app isn’t recognizing my email. Ugh. I hope the IT office is close to the campus center and not way across the campus. I have to go Monday to reset my password.

Insomnia sucks and other things

I had a difficult time getting to sleep last night. I don’t think I fell asleep till after 4am. I just couldn’t settle down. I thought about taking the trazodone but I wanted to get up early so I could shave. It didn’t happen. I didn’t get up till 1130. I had my coffee and some time with the pup. Then I left to go to my appt.

My pcp and I talked about things. She is referring me to a surgeon finally. She also wants me to get the pneumonia vaccine. They didn’t have it at the clinic so I will see if I can get it at the pharmacy.

I walked to the station. It was mostly clear except in some spots. I hate when they don’t clear the crosswalks. Like WTF. Temps are going down this weekend and we are supposed to get more snow on Sunday. I stayed with the pup when I got home. She just cuddled with me. I got hair all over my black pants. I almost snoozed with her but I couldn’t get comfy.

I got to ship my new laptop to get repaired. I am hoping they can pick it up tomorrow I got to schedule a pick up. I will have to deal with the slow laptop that doesn’t want to sleep. I had to power it down last night.

First day of semester

Class was not in the room that I thought it was in. It was in the auditorium and I was nervous. It lt was an almost full room. I had flashbacks of when I first tried taking this class and there was so much commotion while the professor was talking it was difficult to concentrate. But the instructor I have now is different. It got quiet when she started lecturing. She went over the syllabus and then moved on to the lecture. I am in over my head. I have to read chap 1 and 2 by Mon. My clicker works so I am happy about that.

I picked up my meds before I went to campus. I am glad I took a lyft because I missed the bus and the street I would need to go down was covered in snow. There was a lot of traffic getting the Square. They were clearing snow so it just caused traffic. I bought a bottle of water. I wanted to get the rice dish I usually get but it would have thawed out by the time I got home.

There was a couple of days I went without my meds because I ran out. I haven’t taken one of my blood pressure meds all week. And I ran out of my heart med today. I got them now and put them in my box. I ate a big meal before leaving the house so I took my Latuda. I finally have my migraine med and will take it tonight. I just need to wait for it to warm up a bit.

I forgot my password for my UMB account. It isn’t what I have in my password app. And I don’t know how to change it. I can’t log in to an email app without the password and a 2FA app. The app doesn’t recognize my email so I don’t know what they are using now. I need to find out. I got to ship my laptop soon so I am using the old one and it’s slow as shit. But it works.

Tomorrow I have an appointment with my pcp. Lots to talk about. I just hope she doesn’t ask if I am suicidal. I hate when providers do that. It catches me off guard. I know she is going to read my psychiatrist’s note anyways. I am depressed but not in a depressive episode. Yay.

I’m hungry. I had to order food because I don’t want to make anything. There’s a truck blocking our driveway. I have no idea who owns it. He is an asshole as he usually ends up taking up two parking spaces with it. a