midnightdemons7

Tolerate it

I woke up in the middle of the night to pee but I was stubborn about it. I held it for a couple of hours and then decided to empty. It was like 5am. I just didn’t want to get up. Then my alarm went off as I tried going back to sleep, which took forever. I should have stayed up. I will never learn. It was so hard getting up. I had one cup of coffee and I drank it slow. I left early as I wanted to have breakfast at Starbucks.

I went to Starbucks and I don’t know if I lost my earbuds case there or before, but by the time I got to campus it was lost. I feel like an idiot because I didn’t make sure I had it secured in my bag. I shouldn’t have doubled it up with my glasses case. I posted to the FB group hoping if someone found it they will contact me.

I feel so tired. We were assigned groups for the presentation for class today. I have no idea what we are going to pick as a topic. We need to present a video to middle schoolers on a brain topic that is about 10 mins long. I hate group projects.

My pcp didn’t get back to me today about my blood work results. I hope tomorrow she will. My T level did drop. I don’t know if that means anything though. I will find out soon enough. I just hope I don’t have to take the shot every week. I know she talked about this on one of our appointments. It would be too much for me to give myself the shot every week. I have a hard time giving it every two weeks. The excitement of giving it has worn off and it is just a chore just like taking my meds.

I am feeling really depressed today. It took a lot to get to class today. I didn’t want to go. I felt better after I had something to eat but it didn’t last. I felt despondent during class. It was hard to focus. I was just overwhelmed with the group project thing. This weekend I got to read two chapters. I don’t know if we need to do a discussion thing. This class is going to be more involved than I anticipated. My mood sucks this time of year. I am still battling headaches every day that give me brain fog. I just feel so down. I don’t want to do anything and I need to change my sheets and shower sometime this weekend. I also need to talk to my sister about getting my suit for my niece’s wedding. I don’t know how I am going to afford it. I am just so damn broke. I am getting my annual vaccines for flu and covid tomorrow and I hope they don’t cost me anything. It’s only 630pm right now. If I got to bed now, I will be up around 2 and that will screw up my sleep. I hate this fucking tired feeling. My ankle is flared up. I just want to scream.

Tired

I went to get my bloodwork done today. I left the house without my wallet so I had to come back to the house. I really just wanted to stay in the house. But I needed to get this stuff done. I had two cups of coffee. I didn’t go to Starbucks as I wasn’t in the mood. There wasn’t a long wait at the lab. My doc ordered more stuff than I thought. I thought it was just a T level but she also ordered a urine and some other blood work.

I came home and heated up a frozen pizza. I hadn’t eaten anything. I had two pieces and saved the rest for tomorrow. Someone ate one of my ice creams and I am not happy about this. I just want to lie down. I need to go over chapter one again. I am running out of spoons. I don’t think there is anything due this week. I just updated the app with the course. I had to log out and log back in which meant resetting my password again. Ugh. Every time I have to put in my password, I have to reset it.

I shaved and brushed my teeth today. I got a goatee going for now. I picked up a book from the library. I have no idea when I am going to read it. Maybe this weekend. I am still reading Moby Dick. I am almost done with it. It is my midnight readings. I need my head to clear. I haven’t had a clear head all day. It has been cloudy for most of the day. I have been so tired. I haven’t napped. I woke up around 10 I think. I took my meds around 7 as I woke up to pee. I had a weird dream but I don’t remember what it was about. I didn’t get a headache thank god.

Not sure if I am going to listen to the game tonight. They lost last night. They haven’t had an offensive tear in a long while. It’s sad. I feel like they are just out of gas. It’s the last month of the season. I am depressed. My brother in law is having a huge thing for the beginning of football season Sunday. He is having some of his friends over. College football season has started but I think OSU has a bye week this week, which is kind of odd as the season just started last week. They won.

First day of fall classes 2024

I had my class today. It was a little overwhelming as the professor has a lot of work set out for us and a group presentation that we need to keep in mind for middle school age kids. This is going to be a lot. There is a weekly discussion forum that we need to participate in and can only miss two out of the semester. I am not quite sure what the final is about but I think that will be clearer as time goes on. I think it is a research paper. My head is spinning with everything. I am so glad this is my only class this semester to focus on.

I had a few times where I was short of breath while walking. I think it was my normal. I am very tired. I snoozed on the train ride home. There was some traffic with the bus but it didn’t take me two hours to get home like it did last semester. I was thankful for that.

Tomorrow I got to get bloodwork done before I can give myself the T shot. I’ll probably go before noon. I would have went today but I didn’t want to be late for class. I plan on going over the chapter I need to study in the afternoon. My psychiatrist canceled on me for this week. I see him in two weeks.

I don’t know what I am going to do for dinner. I was thinking about having ice cream. I don’t feel like making anything. I just don’t know what kind of ice cream I am going to have. And I hope my family member hasn’t eaten any of it because I will be pissed.