midnightdemons7

Today was really hot. I went to my pcp’s office and dropped off my books. Most of the staff got a copy and I signed each one. By the time I got home, I was soaked. I drank some water and some powerade. I feel like shit and I have flank pain. I haven’t eaten. I am not really hungry. Just really tired. I have a burger if I get hungry later.

I feel really bad mentally. I feel like I would be better off dead. I feel so useless. I got a shitload of financial worries. I made some appts with the social worker so maybe that will be good. I met him today. He seems really nice. He knew me when I was in a rough spot. I didn’t know his name but he knew who I was.

I’m still having chest pain. NP said I could use diclofenac gel for it. I just feel so rotten mentally and physically. It’s exhausting.

I’m feeling meh. It’s hot in the house and I can only take so much of it so been in my room most of the day but haven’t had energy to do anything. I managed to wash my face and brush my teeth. I haven’t shaved my head yet. I took out some of the recycling but the heat got to me. I had ice cream for lunch. Someone at the last of my waffles and my piece of rum cake I took from the party. It wasn’t a good morning.

My pcp’s RN got in touch with me about my depression. She spoke with the team and I will meet with the social worker a few times until I have a long term therapist set up. I’ll be going to the office tomorrow to drop off my book and poster.

I didn’t sleep good last night. I woke up around 0030 and I stayed up till dawn. Allergies were killing me so I ended up taking benadryl for some relief and sleep. I am tired.

Family Sunday

Last night, I snoozed for a couple of hours and then woke up with a shit ton of energy around 1030pm. I was like, really?? You couldn’t give me energy before then?? I read a few chapters of Moby Dick. They were long chapters. I slept for a few hours and then woke up around 330. I don’t remember if I had to pee or if I just woke up. I was tossing and turning most of the night until maybe 7ish when I went back to sleep only to wake up to my med alarm at 8. I went back to sleep for a couple of hours and then got up when I had to pee. The house was cooler than it was yesterday but it was still hot.

Last night I took a shower before going to bed. I needed it and I knew the chances of me trying to take one in the morning were slim. I got up around 1030 and took my meds. I then had some coffee and some waffles. I had to get dressed by 1215 to leave the house. We were going to celebrate my aunt who turn 87 last week. We had a good time. And then afterwards we went to the beach for ice cream. It was a good day. I was tired after I ate. I am so full.

Amazon has been holding my damn books hostage for two weeks. I get an email yesterday saying that the books have been delayed shipping and won’t arrive until Monday. Then I get an email today saying they are on their way and should be here by 10pm. When I arrived home from my family event, the box was at my door. THEY FINALLY ARRIVED!!! I am so happy. Tomorrow I am going to call my pcp’s office to see if I can come by Tues and drop some off. If it isn’t too hot, I will go to the East Boston Library and see if I can donate a copy or two and see if I can schedule an event.

Sox are on at 7 tonight. I still haven’t done my meds for the week. I wanted to cool off some before I did them so am writing this blog. I have nothing planned for the week, though I am thinking of clearing the area around my desk so I can get to the printer and old dinosaur of a computer to remove it. Allergies are kicking my ass today. I just took another Allegra. Had enough with the sneezing my head off. JFC.