midnightdemons7

I watched the ERAS tour last night and then I couldn’t sleep until 630/7 this morning. I slept on and off until 4pm. I got up and brushed my teeth. Made coffee and a PB&J. My niece was making potato skins so I decided to make smiley fries.

I’m going to try and do my anthro readings. Sox are playing at 6 so I will listen to the game. I am tired and despite having two cups of coffee, feel like I can go back to sleep.

My editor gave me an invoice on the remaining payment I owe her. I don’t get paid for another two weeks or so. I haven’t looked at the edits. I know if I do, my schoolwork isn’t going to get done. I emailed one of the TAs to get some help in understanding some of the concepts in chap 5 in psych. Tomorrow will be psych day. I’m going to go to Starbucks and just spend a couple hours reading and taking notes.

August and everything after

Since yesterday, I have been listening to the Counting Crows, August and everything after album. My friend posted lyrics from one of the songs and I had to listen. Now I am stuck listening to them. I can’t stop. Such a good album.

I did my observation assignment today. Now I just got to type it up. I wrote a page worth of notes. That with my questions/proposal should hopefully be around 800 words. I think the minimum was 750. I am going to have someone read it before I post it on the site.

It took a LOT for me to get out of bed today. I had a hard time sleeping last, again. I am so tired. I got up to pee and then just went back to bed. I think I had coffee before taking my meds. I honestly don’t remember the morning but the dreams I had were so fucking weird and gave me headaches, which just made me want to stay in bed. I knew I had to do my assignment today or it just wasn’t going to get done. I took my time getting ready, though. I had a bologna sandwich and coffee before leaving the house. I tried the new lavender latte and didn’t like it at all. I think the lavender would be a good tea though, not a coffee.

I came home and was tired. I wanted to get some burgers but was too lazy to walk to the butcher shop and back. I might go tomorrow after I meet with my friend. She is coming to Boston to meet me. She is bringing her doggie. I can’t wait to meet him. I just hope the rain holds off. It is still at like 50% right now. The temps are supposed to be in the 50s so it should be nice if the rain holds off.

I don’t think since this morning. I think I had two cups of coffee and half a one at Starbucks. I drank half a Gatorade when I came home. I have no urge to pee. I always get worried when it has been more than six hours since my last void. I need to wash out my water bottle before refilling it. There wasn’t much in there, maybe a couple of ounces. I haven’t had to cath in over a year and I want to keep it that way. Only trouble is I don’t quite remember when I got up to pee, if it was 9 or 11. I hate having to keep track of these things. At least my loose bowels have stopped. I didn’t take the senna or magnesium last night and didn’t tonight either because I will be going out tomorrow and I don’t want to have to rush to find a bathroom.

I need to see the TA for my psych class because there are some concepts I am not understanding that will be on the exam. I did so poorly on the quiz I am worried. I still am two chapters behind. I don’t know when I will read the book as I still haven’t read the Anthro stuff and I am behind on those readings, too. I am just overwhelmed right now and this bout of insomnia is not helping as I feel like shit in the morning.

Sneeze attacks and insomnia

I was up all night again. I couldn’t sleep. I woke up around midnight and it was over. I tried sleeping, reading, writing, taking an Ativan. Nothing got me back to sleep. I woke up after maybe two hours of weird dreaming and feel like shit. I had to use the bathroom. Someone was in my bathroom so I went to use my sister’s. I didn’t take senna or magnesium last night because my bowels have been loose. I crapped again loose bowels as I peed. I don’t know if it is stress or what that is giving me the loose bowels but I hate it because I can’t feel it. It can lead to accidents if I fart. So I have been scared to fart the past couple of days.

After I finished my business in the bathroom, I made coffee. I realized half way through the cup that I didn’t take my meds. I started sneezing in the kitchen and omg. I couldn’t stop. I finished my coffee and went upstairs and sneezed some more. I have been sneezing for almost an hour already.

The construction guys are out there doing work. My head is ready to cave in. I got a pain in the back of my head. I don’t know if it is a migraine or not. Pain is behind my ear. I think I might have pulled a muscle with all the damn sneezing. It’s slightly warm today. I want to go to the Square and do my research for my Anthro class but I need to shower very bad. I stink and I sweated some more last night. I was hot in my room for a while.

I started writing about my therapy problem in my journal. I don’t know if I want to go back to her but I have no one else, really. It was on my brain most of the night that I had to change in order for me to work with her. I hate myself and I don’t know why. I just do. Her telling me this is all on me and no one else really got to me. I don’t know if she is blaming me for the depression or my thoughts. It bugs me so much. I like kind of want to make an appointment with her but then I know I will want to cancel it. I hate these ambivalent feelings. Just sucks.

I finally showered but didn’t groom like I wanted to. I felt like if I was going to shower, I was going to shower. I didn’t have the energy to groom. It takes a lot of spoons. After my shower, I threw a pot pie in the oven and made a cup of coffee. I only had one cup when I got up around 1. I needed a second cup to get me through the day. I might have another cup with my pot pie. I don’t know though as it is after 5 now.