midnightdemons7

Minimal day

I was up between 3 and 7 and when my med alarm went off, I did not want to get the fuck up. I stayed in bed for another couple of hours but I had to have coffee. It was cold today and I knew I would be wearing jeans. I love wearing jeans. They are my favorite clothes. The puppy was home today and greeted me every time I went downstairs today. As I was making coffee, she peed. I didn’t like that. I cleaned it up and then had my coffee.

I didn’t feel like going into Boston today so I texted my DMH worker to call me. I sent her a pic of the puppy I took. She looks so big but she really isn’t. She is a medium size dog on the smaller side. I played my game and talked with my friends. My friend is in Boston and she is in Salem with the witches with her friend. I get to see her tomorrow and I am so excited!! I haven’t seen her in years. I got to go to my eye appt and then I see her.

All I have eaten today was a bowl of oatmeal. I am hungry. I think I will make a tuna sandwich if there is a sub roll left. I might have another cup of coffee. Sox are playing tonight and I want to stay up and listen. It’s a win or die game.

My DMH worker is a lovely person but is so clueless about what is going on with being a transgender in the US. I hate bringing up stuff with her because she is so clueless. Like the felon wants the dems to deny health care for trans as part of the budget. That will so affect me.

I have my bottom surgery consult next week. I hope I don’t chicken out of it. I groomed the other day so I am good. It was not the best job but it works. I need to get blood work done in a couple of weeks before I see my pcp again. I was kind of winded today while walking. I got to the bus stop and I was breathing heavy. I don’t know why some days I am ok and others I am short of breath.

So much cooler today

Today was a very nice fall day. It was cool. I managed to shower and shave and then put on long PJs. I shut my fan off as it was too cold in my room. I love this weather.

I had a difficult time sleeping last night. I woke up around 130a to pee and couldn’t get back to sleep. I read my Econ book for a bit and then I read my psych book. I was still up around 6am so I took my meds. I slept a few hours and then got up around noonish. I had my coffee. Then I decided to take my quiz and test. I failed both, though I got a higher grade on my quiz. I had no idea what I was doing on the test. It was graphs and interpreting them. I know I didn’t get them right. I didn’t do anymore school work after taking the quiz and test. I didn’t know what I wanted to do. I was supposed to go to an Open House at campus but I needed to shower and shave. By the time I did that it was too late to leave the house as I would be late.

I played around with my fitness app to see how many calories I have eaten today. I am under 1000. I was hungry so I just had a tuna sandwich. My puppy wanted some but I didn’t give her any. I also guarded my sandwich so she wouldn’t take it. I wanted to make a cup of iced tea but she was staring at my sandwich so I didn’t want to leave it alone.

I see my DMH worker tomorrow. I am hoping to hit Starbucks before the appt. They didn’t close the one at North Station. I think I am going to walk to the green line tomorrow. It’s supposed to be sunny and cool, like today.

Sleepy day

I woke up around 8 to pee and take my meds. I shut off my med alarm and went back to sleep. My phone was surprisingly silent all the time I was sleeping so I was undisturbed. I got up around 130pm. I felt like shit and didn’t want to do shit. I plan on taking a shower tonight. I don’t know if I am going to trim my beard or not. I really want to cut my hair but I don’t have the energy. The beard will take me two seconds.

I had a cup of coffee and played my game. I also petted the pup who was looking pathetic because mom wasn’t home. I let her outside and she sat in one of the chairs all curled up. Her father just came and now she is the happiest pup. I finished the pizza I ordered the other day. Puppy wanted some but I didn’t give her any. I had another cup of coffee as I need to read an Econ chapter. There is test 2 that is due Monday. So I got a quiz and a test due the same day. I also have a shit load of psych to read and do. She kind of explained how the exam was going to be but I didn’t understand it. I hope there is a lecture on it so I can get it. I changed the grading on Econ to P/F. Now I can do the work and hope it is enough to get a passing grade.

I asked the new therapist place how long will I be waitlisted and they said 4 to 5 months. WTF. I don’t think I can wait that long for a therapist. I am going to try the other place where I was and see if I can see someone at my DMH work place. I don’t know if it will be same process. I don’t know if I was “discharged” from services as the therapist I was seeing never texted me back. I think it is so rude not to answer a question by a client. Now I have to call tomorrow to find out. Ugh.

I am so sleepy right now. I don’t want to read but I have to.

Tough day

I woke up around 2 to pee and couldn’t go back to sleep. I started sneezing and that really woke me up. I don’t remember what I did. I wrote an email to a friend. I also took some benedryl because my allergies were killing me. It took more than 2 hours to fall asleep. I did not want to get up. I stayed in bed till almost 2pm. I had to pee again so I got up. I took my meds and brushed my teeth. I had coffee and brought my laptop down to the kitchen so I could do the final thing for psych class. It was hard and I honestly don’t know if I did it right. I got some grades back. I am missing something in psych so need to go back and see if I can submit it. Test 1 for Econ came back and I failed dismally. I wrote to my advisor about possible withdrawing. She said I could take a P/F as I need just a D- to pass the course. I am just not getting the concepts in this class. I have an extra credit thing to do this week so maybe that will help. My writing has yet to fail me. Least I have that going for me.

I feel really down because I don’t feel so smart with me failing this class. I am going to write to the professor and see what can be done. Hopefully she won’t be a hardass. I think if there was lectures explaining what we are reading that would be helpful but there aren’t. I don’t know why the lower level classes are harder for me than upper level. I have a headache with everything I am trying to do.

I have been swarmed with a lot of emails today. I got a half dozen in my private email and about the same for my school. My benefits enrollment period is coming up. I wonder how much my cost per month for insurance is going to be. It’s reasonable right now but it will go up in January. I never really know how much until then. I am surprised I haven’t received the packet giving what’s available and stuff. Maybe it will be this week I will get it.

Taylor’s new album comes out on Friday and I cannot fricken wait. I have my eye appt so will be listening on the train ride there. It is a hike getting to the eye place as it is outside of Boston. They have closed so many eye places. I haven’t been able to find an eye doctor since mine retired. I hope I can afford new glasses if I need them. Makes me nervous. All these expenses. I got to get groceries too. My cart is back up near $300 again. I got to get rid of some stuff. I tend to go a little crazy when I am looking for something. I buy things in different flavors. I think I am going to order the drinks and then go to a cheaper grocery store. My sister said she will take me. I want to get some snacks like cheese.

I have things this week. Tomorrow is my nephew’s birthday and I have a webinar. Wed is a graduate open house at UMB I want to attend. Thurs is DMH worker appt. and Fri eye. Busy. I hope I can keep up with school work.