midnightdemons7

Crazy thing about Friday

I don’t get the hype about Fridays. Maybe it is because I always worked the weekend. I went to my groups today. It was fine until the last one. The last one was complete chaos and I wanted to leave as it was giving me such anxiety. The counselor gave an exercise about different things and everyone started talking at once. It was nuts. I didn’t like it at all. I got a call from their psychiatrist. I told her that I didn’t need anything. Nothing got changed while I was in the hospital. I made it so I can see my psychiatrist Tues. I need to get my blood drawn. I am hoping to get it done in the morning and then be home by the appt. I should be. I might go to the library to get the Finlay Donovan book. I still haven’t had a chance to get it yet.

I was starving after the last group as I didn’t have breakfast. I had a turkey sandwich and then some cookies and a protein bar. I had it with a cup of coffee. I had three cups today. And I am still tired. It was cooler today but I didn’t go out. I think tomorrow I will. I want to go to Starbucks for a drink. And I still need to buy some sandwich bread.

I’ve been feeling ok today. I think the ketamine needed a few days to work. I am not suicidal and I am not depressed or hopeless. I feel pretty good. I just wish I had some energy so I could maybe clear off my bed and change my sheets. It’s always such a huge task for me. I still have to shower. I think I am going to do that before bed tonight.

Wicked hot day

Today reached 86 degrees F. The puppy was so hot she hasn’t been eating and has stayed mostly under my niece’s bed. I finally was able to turn on my AC. I went grocery shopping and bought a few things. I forgot to buy bread and tuna fish. But I got turkey breast and some sub rolls for it. I bought bacon but I don’t have bread to make a sandwich.

I got a confusing email this morning as it said that my intake for tomorrow morning was canceled and I was placed on a wait list. Then around the time my cousin came to pick me up for grocery shopping, I got a call and confirmed the appt for tomorrow morning and it is virtual. I am glad. I still don’t have appts for my therapist. I do have an appt for my psychiatrist on Tues. I hope that I can keep it.

I managed to brush my teeth and trim my beard. I wanted to shave my head but I lost energy after shopping. I need to shower. What was weird is that while I was in the hospital, I didn’t get back spasms and worn out like I do at home. I don’t know why. There was a shower chair in the shower so I could sit to wash up. Maybe that is what I need to do at home after washing my hair. I bought a good body wash that I really like. It smells so good. I finally was able to cut my nails last night when I came home. That was the first thing I did when I was in my room.aWw

I had a good sleep but after like 330am I kept waking up to pee despite not drinking anything. I don’t know why I don’t seem to pee during the damn day. Aggravates me. I got up around 8 when my med alarm went off. I took my meds. I was slow to do things though because I didn’t have half and half to make my coffee. There was flavored creamer but I don’t like it because it leaves an aftertaste. I just had one cup of coffee before my room got to nearly 80 degrees. After grocery shopping, I moved some things so I could access my AC. I had to tuck the curtain in multiple times as it kept falling.

I did my SAP thing today. I hope this means I will get financial aid for the fall. I have been so anxious about this for months. I hope I find out soon. The anxiety is killing me.

Discharged

I got home today. I was not happy when I walked in my room as the packages I ordered were thrown on my bed and my ceiling fan was turned off. Tomorrow I will tackle straightening it out. I need to move some stuff so I can get to my window to access the AC. It’s 81 degrees today but with the fan it is cool as it isn’t muggy.

I woke up with a damn alarm going off on the unit. I had got up around 330 to pee and had a difficult time getting back to sleep. I was dozing in the day room around six so went back to bed and slept until that damn alarm went off. Scared the shit out of me. When I had team they said they wanted to keep me another day because partial hospital wasn’t set up. But it got set up around 4 and I was discharged shortly afterwards. I was grateful because I missed my puppy so much. She was eating dinner when I went downstairs and she came right to me and didn’t go back to her food. Then she started chasing her tail. It was so funny.

I am feeling really tired. I had wanted to shower but I never got a chance. I will tomorrow. I need to shave. I know I will get up early as I have the past few days. I have since being in the hospital. Today things were late but I am so glad I am home.