midnightdemons7

Sunday Dinner

I woke up sneezing my head off and it continued when I went downstairs to make a cup of coffee, I actually made two before going downstairs to my sister’s. I had to go to the basement because I was going to make my lemon blueberry cake but the blueberries went bad when the freezer did. So I added them to my grocery order.

I came upstairs and played my game for a bit then started making my sausage, pepper, onion, and potatoes dish. I asked my sister how to make it as this was my first time. I used one bag of potatoes. It came out good. My niece kept eating the potatoes. She made mac and cheese but I was so full from the sausage dish I couldn’t eat it.

I had a third cup of coffee while the potatoes were cooking. I also had a glass of water because I was so damn thirsty. It was so hot in the kitchen. My cousin came by to shave the back of my neck. It hasn’t been done in a while. I sat outside afterwards and it was cooler on the deck than in the house. I went upstairs and finally bought Mary Chapin Carpenter’s latest album and it is so awesome. So different than her previous albums. I love it. I so want to see her in Sept. If there is tickets still available, I might get one and forgo something.

I am feeling so tired. I had to take a Benadryl. The sneezing is just not stopping. I have no idea why I am sneezing so much. The pollen count isn’t that high, though it is grass and nettle. I am allergic to grass. My nose hurts so much.

I did my meds for the week. I want to shower but there are no clean towels. I just ordered some as for some reason our full cabinet is only down to like 3 towels. They aren’t as thick as I was hoping. I am glad I bought my own pod detergent because we are out. I really want to shower either tonight or tomorrow. I need to shave my head. That will be tomorrow so I might as well shower tomorrow.

Upsetting day

I slept for a few hours and then I was up at 145am. I stayed up and read for a few hours. Then I paid some bills and tried to go back to sleep. I wasn’t successful until after 7am. I woke up at 10 to pee and take my meds. I thought about ordering breakfast but by the time I checked my messages and notifications, it was after breakfast time at McDs. I ordered a pizza instead as I was craving it. I ordered an extra sprite so I could make my cake with blueberries. I ordered some groceries. I plan on making sausage, peppers, and potatoes this weekend. It has been a long time since I had it but it will be the first time making it.

After I had pizza, it was time for therapy. It was a good session. She seems really open to me talking and encouraged transference. Unfortunately, it was around the time that we were ending so I didn’t get into it but said it would probably be another session. I half wanted to tell her I had another therapist appt but couldn’t bring myself to do it. I am just looking. I still really feel she is too inexperienced for me.

I spent a an hour trying to get the puppy settled. She was upset that daddy left her as she just balled herself up in her crate away from the opening. I tried cuddling her but she didn’t want that. After she put herself in the crate again, I gave up and went upstairs to my room. It was around the time my niece would be coming home. About an hour later, I get a text from my insurance saying they are not covering the weight loss drug. It was after 5pm, on a damn Friday. I am so damn upset. I have to wait till Monday to talk to my doc about what to do on appealing. I just feel like I put myself out there and then got shot down. I have struggled with my weight for years and no matter what I do, I lose the same 10 to 20 pounds all the time. But this is the first time that I am seeking care for it. It just has me so upset.

I have been in pain the last twenty-four hours with my foot/ankle. I think the temp changes have fucked me up with the CRPS. I haven’t taken pain meds because the pain is tolerable but it is interfering with my sleep. Foot is either hurting or ice cold. Ankle just hurts to move it. Makes going up and down stairs difficult. I am glad it is so much cooler now. I can leave my room without getting sick from the heat. I hope it stays cool over the weekend so I can make a cake and maybe some cinnamon rolls.

Taking care of puppy

I woke up a few times this morning to pee. I took my meds around 9 and then went back to sleep only to wake up again to pee. I finally got up around noon. I didn’t want to do a damn thing today. It was cloudy and rainy all day. So I just sat with the puppy all day. I had my coffee. Then I nuzzled with the puppy. She was cuddling with me and kept sticking her nose in my chest. It was so cute. I was able to take a pic of when I had my hand next to her face. She just nuzzled me so much.

I tried to call and make an appt for a dental cleaning. I am still waiting to hear back from them as I had to text them for a quicker response. I also made an appt with my psychiatrist. I am tired. I haven’t done a thing all day. I had a salad and ice cream for my lunch/dinner. I wanted one of my frozen dinners but didn’t want to go to the basement. I took out a burger for tomorrow. My bitch sister ate my last pint of ice cream. I really should start docking the money I give her for the house. I pay out of my pocket for my food, not food stamps, which isn’t much to begin with.

I have therapy tomorrow. I tried working on the questions she gave me but they just made me angry and I couldn’t answer them. I don’t know why they anger me. It makes me think about things not related to the question. Like one of the questions is If food and movement weren’t tied to changing your body, what would your relationship with them look like? Making me think about my body and relationships (in general) and it depresses me.

I sent my psych a request for my psych meds as he hasn’t done it yet. I also got word from my insurance my pcp put in the authorization and they are reviewing it for the weight loss drug. I should have an answer sometime tomorrow or Monday. I am thinking of making a dish for the weekend if temps continue to be low. I will need to go to the grocery store to get the ingredients. Hopefully I can get to Market Basket and get them there. I will see if my sister can take me or my brother in law. My cousin is working so he can’t take me. I can take the T but it will make me more tired as I will have to go here and there. It will be like two buses each way. Maybe I can go to the Star Market in the square over the line and get them there. They have some good steaks. I haven’t had steak in a long time. Maybe I will go after therapy. If I can get my ass out of bed before noon. I will need to have my coffee if I am going to do anything. Two cups. Past few days I have only had one and then I go back to sleep. Today I stayed up a little while longer. I haven’t napped or laid down. Sox are off today. They will be at Fenway tomorrow night playing Houston. They are playing better but still six games behind. Need to have some more wins and the other teams need to lose more.