midnightdemons7

Exam and stuff

I passed my exam. I am so happy. It is the only high mark of the semester. The professor thinks I will be able to pass as I am doing better in everything else. I hope so. I am nervous though.

I couldn’t get myself to leave the house today. I just felt so damn depressed. Then I read the news today and I just want to fucking die. The country has really turned into a white supremist state and now the stupid republicans have voted to deport US citizens. I don’t want to live any more. Once the semester is over, I am going to end things. I don’t care. I don’t know when I will do this. The psychache is so intolerable.

It was cold today. Temp dropped by ten degrees. I didn’t leave the house. I just stayed in bed most of the day. I tried to sleep but I couldn’t. I am going to read my book tonight. Game is on but I am not really interested in listening. I will just keep track of the score. My allergies have been bad today. Last night they were too and I had to take an extra Allegra. I hate spring.

I didn’t have therapy today because my therapist canceled for reasons unknown. She cancels at least twice a month. I don’t know how she keeps her job. It really pissed me off.

My email is in limbo because my account is short on funds and I can’t pay the subscription fee for more memory until Friday. I am so angry. Living on a fixed income sucks so bad. I forgot to put money on my t pass so had to borrow 10 bucks from my sister. I am so annoyed.

I went to make my chicken breast and it was gone. My niece made it. So I had no dinner. I am making roasted zucchini. I had some mac and cheese. I was so looking forward to the chicken. Fuck. My soda is gone.

I managed to brush my teeth and shave today. I still need to shower. I might do it before bed. I wrote out my Italian. Now I just got to memorize it. It has been difficult as my brain doesn’t want to work. My Italian friend was going to help me but I haven’t heard from her.

I sent a message to my psychiatrist. I might need a new therapist if these cancelations keep happening. I’m so tired. I just want to end things. What difference does it make if I have a therapist or not. I have another appt with my therapist Friday. If she doesn’t cancel.

I got a headache that I think is gonna turn into a migraine. I am so tired today. I slept good. Don’t know if I will sleep tonight as I am so worried about tomorrow. I still have Italian homework to do. But I’ll do it tomorrow after I get home from class.