out of luck

On another note, I know this is going to sound really irrational, but I can’t kill myself this year. There are no fridays that fall on the 17th. SO I am out of luck. I am kind of both angry and relieved because I just wanted to do this but too many people are depending on me and it was getting harder and harder to commit. Especially as I half concocted the idea that my therapist should tell me she loves me or something of that nature. I guess I need to be reminded that people do care about me and would miss me because some times I don’t think anyone really cares.