depression and therapy and other stuff

Depression and therapy and other stuff

I had therapy this morning. We went over the DEARMAN skill. It wasn’t what I thought it would be but it was good to know. We talked about living a life worth living and I asked what happens to the suicidal thoughts. She gave me an explanation, saying that sometimes it is a struggle always and other times the thoughts diminish. She keeps telling me depression is hard and it is like “duh”. I told her I would write up the page I wrote while in the hospital for the new book that I am to write. I haven’t done it yet.

I got a tennis ball and placed it on my back. It is helping the knots that are there. I took about an hour’s nap after I had lunch. I had a difficult night sleeping. I wanted to shower today but haven’t done it yet. I got a haircut yesterday so need to wash my hair. I want to shave it down but I don’t know if I will have the energy to do it.

I feel really tired despite my nap. I haven’t done anything and I need to pick up my recycle as the bag fell over so now there are bottles all on my floor of my room. I haven’t been drinking fluids today and I just had two cups of coffee. I don’t know why I haven’t been drinking. I just feel so sluggish. I just want to sleep. I don’t care about anything else.

Tomorrow is my birthday. It is supposed to be really stormy. I have PT in the early afternoon. I hope I don’t get drenched as it is supposed to be rainy and windy out. My sisters, nieces and I are going to see the Whitney Houston movie that comes out tomorrow for my celebration. It should be fun. I am looking forward to it.

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