do nothing Friday

Do nothing Friday

I didn’t want to get up today. It is freezing out and the wind it terrible. I finally got up around 2pm. I had coffee and some cookies. I was hungry. I ordered McD’s for me and my niece. My mother was sleeping on the couch earlier and then she went to bed when I got up. I checked her oxygen to make sure she didn’t need extra. I made something for my mother for dinner. Just heated up some leftovers.

While I was in bed, my thigh started to twitch. There was a group of muscles that kept on twitching. This went on for like a half hour or so. It was so bizarre. My muscle kind of hurts but it thankfully stopped twitching. My knee is hurting. It started yesterday for some reason. I have been staying off it for most of the day and being really careful when I am on the stairs.

I feel really depressed and tired. Yesterday I went out to lunch with my cousins on my father’s side and we had a good time. I told one of my cousins that my mother had cancer and I almost lost it. I just became really sad. My mother was having a good day yesterday so after we had lunch, my cousins came over the house to visit. It was a good time. We took a picture as we really don’t have many with my mother. It was nice. I was completely exhausted after they left. I watched my mother for a bit as my sister wanted to get her nails done. My mother wanted to go upstairs to her house so I stayed behind her as she climbed the stairs. It exhausted her. Then I helped her change in to her PJs.

I tried writing last night in my book but when I opened the document, it wasn’t where I left off. There are now 39 pages to the book and I have no idea how it got to be that many. I think the format of the book is making it longer but I am hesitant to add to it. I don’t know why I am scared to write more about my experiences being trans in this book. Maybe it is because it won’t be good enough. I don’t know. I am having my doubts about this book.

I am busy next week with appointments. Mon I have therapy and I need to go into the hosp to drop off a urine sample. I think I may have a UTI. Tues I have PT and Wed I have my eye appointment outside of Boston. Going to be fun going there by train and bus. I think the weather will be warmer so I won’t freeze. It will be an exhausting day. Just hope the train doesn’t have any delays that day.

any thoughts?

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