A busy day
I got up this morning and the last of my half and half was used. I had to go out and get it. I wasn’t feeling that great but I brushed my teeth and got dressed. I went to the bus stop and the bus went past where I was used to. I guess they took away that bus stop as well. I had to walk farther to get to the grocery store. I was struggling when I reached the parking lot. I kept walking and thankfully there was a bench near the door I wanted to go into. I sat for a little bit before entering the store. Of course the half and half was at the back of the store. I was so fucking tired. I grabbed a carton and went back toward the registers. I paid then went back to the same bench to rest for a few more minutes. I made my way through the parking lot but had to stop at one of the houses and sat on the stairs for a bit. I was starting to feel like I was going to have an asthma attack. I was really struggling to breathe. There was a park about half a block from the house and it had some seats. I sat for a bit and checked to see when the bus would be there. It would be there in like 6 minutes so I sat for a minute or two. I knew it wouldn’t take me long to get there but I didn’t know if there was going to be a seated bus stop when I got there. There wasn’t. There was a bench but it was back away from the street. I didn’t want to miss the bus so I stood and my hamstrings hated me. Bus came and I got off on my regular stop. I thought about getting off on the stop before it but that would mean walking uphill to my house and there was no fucking way I was going to be able to do that. I was already wheezing by the time I reached the street that I swear is a mile long to my house. I sat on my porch for a few minutes before I got in the house. I was wheezing and coughing. I really exerted myself. Just for a half gallon of half and half. Just for a cup of coffee.
I made it into the house and relaxed a bit. I made my coffee. It was so good. I had a couple of hours before I was to have a phone call to my friend in England. I was too tired to cook anything. I just drank my coffee and then went up to my room to relax. I texted my sister and she wanted me to come down. I didn’t feel like going anywhere. I looked at my health thingy that counts my steps and I did over 2700. I was getting hungry and thought about making a burrito with cheesy eggs. I went back downstairs but the tortilla wraps were gone. I heated up some chili instead. It was so fucking good. I still needed to make the chicken I took out the other night. I found some red potatoes and took them out. I got a message from my doctor saying my new migraine med had been approved. I wasn’t in the mood to call the pharmacy and be on hold for an hour.
I talked to my friend for about an hour. Time went by so fast. We got caught up as we haven’t chatted in so long. Then I went back downstairs to cut up the potatoes and roast the chicken. I put it in and it is cooking as we speak.
I had a shit night again. I woke up around 4 with a bad toothache. I took some ibuprofen. It seems to work as good as pain meds so I took it. I thought about eating something so it wouldn’t wreck my stomach but I knew that would cause me more pain. After an hour of being in pain, the ibuprofen kicked in and I was able to sleep until 930ish. I woke up with my shirt wet. I have been waking up with sweats for the past several days. I don’t know if it is because I just get hot while sleeping or something else. My liver function is normal so I am not so worried about it. I will mention it to my pcp when I see her next month. I hope by then the new migraine med is working and my sleep is better.
I registered for classes for the spring and I hope that I get financial aid so I can attend them. Last night I was talking to my friend in Australia and I got stuck with the feelings about suicidality and being trans. I wrote about another paragraph to my suicidality essay that I am not sure what the fuck I am doing with. It’s like my book, just a bunch of ideas strung together but shorter. I don’t know if I want to add it to my book or blog it. I’ll play with it another week and then decide.
midnightdemons7 