Month: November 2023

I’ve had a migraine since I woke up around this morning. I thought it went away but around noon my head was going to explode and I’ve been in pain since. Nothing has helped. I’ve tried napping but couldn’t really sleep. It really sucks because for the first time in weeks I had at least 7 hours straight of sleep, then another 4 or 5 hours before getting up sometime after 11.

I never went to pick up my meds. Bus schedule on Sundays suck and I didn’t want to get stuck for an hour at the Square so I didn’t leave the house. My headache is so bad my hair hurts so I haven’t been able to shave. I brushed my teeth, though. Also did my med boxes for the week. I sent a message to my primary to see if she is amenable to going up on the neurontin. What I’m taking doesn’t seem to be affective like it was. Ankle prevented me from resting. I got a knife feeling right in the joint. My left leg has felt cold all day. Don’t know why. It is cool but not cold out and my room is ok. Maybe kind of chilly but I like it that way.

I don’t have plans for tomorrow aside from getting my meds. Might go to Starbucks. I don’t know. I’m running low on coffee. I’m hoping I can steal some from my sister. I have to put in a grocery order this week and an Amazon order. I’ve found the Belvita is cheaper on Amazon than the grocery store. Also will get coffee. That is a must!

Saturday Blog 18112023

I woke up a few times last night with severe headaches. I took my immediate migraine med around 430ish and waited for it to work before going back to sleep. I woke up a couple of hours later with the same damn headache. The doc said my headaches might get worse before they get better. I am so sick of this cycle. Either I don’t sleep during the middle of the night or I wake up with headaches. It is really stressing me out and making me so tired throughout the day. I have no energy to do the things I need to do.

I got up around 1130ish. I took my meds and then used the bathroom. I made coffee. My brother in law was going to take me to the grocery store. I had to buy a few things including some bread as we were out. If I had known the other day when I went, I would have bought some. I was done in like ten minutes. My brother in law picked me up and there was traffic on the way home so I didn’t get to the pharmacy to pick up my meds. I might go out again but I need to shave and shower and brush my teeth.

I came home and had something to eat and another coffee. I am so tired but I need to shower as I was sweating during the night so I stink. I sent a message to my psychiatrist about all this interrupted sleep. It is just stressing me out. I have been meaning to take my recycle out for two weeks now and still haven’t had the energy to do it. I need to make a clearing for my AC so it can be taken out of the window. I also need to play with my printer and hope I didn’t break it because it will cost around $300 for a new one. This one isn’t that old. I hope that the old toner has what make it is on it so I can buy the right one this time. I am so angry I bought the wrong one even though it said it was the right one on the website.

I got post migraine headache and feel like shit. Least I have food for the week. I built a cart of items and it is close to $200. I am not sure I can afford that this month because I have that high copay for the eye doctor to pay. Both of my eyes are watery today and now the right eye is becoming irritated. I would like to get another pair of glasses but I just can’t afford that right now. I still haven’t heard back from UMB about financial aid. Might wait till Dec before I email the office to find out if I got any. I know I got a grant but it’s only for $600 and my bill will be $4k. I might just pay what I can until the bill is paid off as I really want to attend college next semester.

Attempting to put into words my thoughts

I woke up around 1am and found it extremely hard to go back to sleep. I laid in bed. I took an Ativan. I didn’t feel like reading. I stayed up till at least 4 or 5 and then I fell back to sleep. I woke up again a few minutes before my med alarm as I had to pee. My phone was going off all morning. I had a shit ton of messages but I didn’t care to look at them. After I peed, I just went back to sleep. I didn’t really wake up until my sister knocked on my door asking if I printed out something for her. I told her my printer was broken. I still haven’t tried to fix it yet. I am hoping blowing out some of the toner will help but I am not sure.

I had a cup of coffee and then I made some ramen noodles for lunch. It was spicy and I liked it. It cleared out my sinuses. I brushed my teeth and shaved. I took off my goatee as the hairs on my chin were patchy. I am getting more growth there. One of the phone calls this morning was for my eye appointment for Mon. they said the copay was going to be $70 and I don’t get paid till Wed so I canceled it. I called back to reschedule and they didn’t have any openings till Dec. I need to get my eye looked at because it is irritated. I called the one west of Boston where I went earlier this year and they have an opening the week after Thanksgiving. They said the copay will be between $60-100. Fuck.

I am not sure how I feel today. I don’t have the motivation to shower as shaving caused some back cramps. I need to go to the pharmacy to get my meds. It’s nice out even though it is getting dark now. I will go tomorrow. I need to go to the Square anyways. I feel grumpy. My eye keeps becoming irritated and it makes it hard to read or to concentrate. I have been using drops but they don’t seem to be effective anymore. I think something more is going on with it. It might be allergies or something else. I don’t know. I hate that my copay is so fucking high.

I am really struggling with writing this week. My thoughts just don’t seem important to write down. I haven’t touched my book or the suicidality document. I just feel empty and devoid of things. My mojo seems to be in a slumber or something. I don’t know. Maybe it will come back to me eventually.