Month: January 2024

This was how I felt yesterday

You’re not sorry

Taylor’s song has been in my head all day so naturally became my title for the day. I went to campus and it was so hard. I felt ok getting to the Square and going to Starbucks but by the time I had finished eating my breakfast sandwich, I was tired. As I walked to the station to head to campus, my legs felt so heavy. I took my time going to the Hall but was out of breath by the time I got there. I had a hard time getting going today. It was so fricken cold with the wind bringing the temps down by like 15 degrees. Otherwise, it would have been a nice day.

I didn’t think I was going to make it through class. I was so tired I kept spacing out. One of the questions I got partly right so I felt good about that. We left after an hour. The ride home sucked. The train was so fricken slow. It took me an hour and a half to get home. I was so damn tired. I thought about ordering a pizza but I think I am just going to have a PB&J. I need to get more bread. I don’t know when I will be able to get to the grocery store. I wanted to take out chicken for making a casserole but I forgot. I bought like 5 pounds of chicken breast and froze it all. I will share some with my sister when I thaw it out. It is an all day affair to make this casserole but so worth it.

My Anthro professor just sent us a link about intermediate seminars. The class, as far as I know, isn’t one but I am just taking it to fulfill the SB requirement. I am glad I did all the reading yesterday so I can focus on my psych class. I don’t think I will do anything tonight unless I can’t sleep, in which case I might finish the chapter I started the other night. I still need to start reading the other book because it is next on the syllabus.

I have therapy tomorrow. I really had to push myself today to get around and do what needed to be done. Just hope tomorrow I don’t pay for it. I never know what my energy levels are going to be or how long they will last. Sometimes just getting to Starbucks is enough to exhaust me. I had a decent sleep even though I woke up at 330 to pee and then had a difficult time getting back to sleep. I woke up a few minutes before my med alarm went off at 9. It has been a long day.

Day spent reading

I spent the day doing my Anthro readings. I also watched an hour long video about the evolution of man from chimps. I just finished the last of the readings for the week. I might read one or two articles on Wed. I have a busy day that day so I am not sure I will read.

I have class tomorrow. I went over the slides last night. I think we are still in chapter one and don’t begin chapter two until Thurs. but I could be wrong. I have been feeling tired most of the day. I woke up around 3 and found it difficult to go back to sleep.

I took a shower today. I had to because I woke up sweating again. I didn’t leave the house today as it was cold and windy. I plan on going to Starbucks early so I can get something to eat. I have been feeling kind of down most of the day. I was anxious last night and it took some doing to get to sleep. I started having flashbacks of when I was in the hospital so I took some Ativan to try and calm down. PTSD can happen any time.

My pcp’s office got back to me. I didn’t have to get more blood drawn so I am glad. I am still traumatized by the 5 sticks I had on Saturday. I thought about my mother today on and off. Yesterday marked me being ten months post op from top surgery. It still bothers me that my surgery is tied with my mother’s death. I still remember that week as a blur. My mother was pretty comatose. I tried to take care of her the best I could but I wasn’t always up for because I was recovering from surgery. It was so hard.