Month: January 2024

Rough night and reading lectures

I had a hard time sleeping last night. My legs kept spazzing. I took a bunch of different meds but nothing worked. I drank water and then somehow fell asleep after I took my morning meds. I slept till around 2. I haven’t eaten anything since Friday. I have lost my appetite. I have been drinking coffee and having biscuits with it but that has been the only thing I have been eating. I drank a lot of water after I took my shower. I tried trimming my beard but I couldn’t get the length I wanted. I have all these attachments and I don’t know which ones to use. So annoying.

After I came back to my room to get dressed, I did my meds for the week. Then I started reading a few lectures. I have to submit a discussion for class as an introduction. I will do that tomorrow. There is a lot to read. I don’t know how much time to spend on the class. There are also a voice recordings for sections. I have no idea if I am supposed to listen to them or not. I have never done an online class before. There is so much information for this 100 level course. I am kind of shocked. But the good news is there is no papers due for class. Just three exams, which I am not sure includes the final or not.

I am excited. I just took out my notebook so I can take notes. I’ve only been up for a couple of hours and already I feel tired. Least the shaking in my legs stopped. I have no idea if it was a side effect of medication or just restless legs. I was also so damn hot last night, I kept fighting with the blanket. I would take it off and then get cold, then I would sweat. I had to take my tshirt off sometime in the middle of the night. I still sweat so I had to take a shower today. It is much more comfortable in my room now. I have no idea what was going on last night.

I have therapy tomorrow and I am not looking forward to it. I know there was something I wanted to talk about but now I can’t remember what it was. Fuck. I think it was something about it being psychological. I will have to ask her what she means by that and how to control my dreaming if that is what is going on. She drives me crazy. It is a good thing I don’t drink.

Marvelous time ruining every thing

I got up and felt good. I took my meds but I didn’t want to get out of bed. I went back to sleep for a couple of hours. I got up around noon. I checked my messages on my phone and also checked the board for my class but the professor hasn’t posted anything yet. I had a cup of coffee and then got dressed to get my labs done.

I felt ok walking. The streets were clear for the most part. I avoided areas that weren’t shoveled. I mistimed the bus and had to wait like 20 minutes. I just put my earbuds in and listened to Taylor. It was cold and I put an extra layer on as my coat isn’t that warm. It used to have a middle layer but I took it out and have no idea what happened to it. I think the zipper broke and I got rid of it. When I got to the hospital, I stopped for a few minutes at a seating area. My legs still flare up on me. If the online class works out, I might do the rest of my classes online if they are available.

I went to the lab and they had to stick me twice to get blood. Then I cathed to give a urine sample as I didn’t have an urge to go. I knew it was going to be tricky. I tried to drink a lot but I still had no urge when I was there. I am glad I brought the caths with me.

I went home and the bus wasn’t going to there for another 25 mins. I waited inside until I got a sneeze attack and then went outside to wait for it. The bus was loaded with a lot of people and there was a woman who was preaching something as the bus pulled away. She was making such a commotion. I just closed my eyes and listened to my music. She piped down after no one was giving her attention.

I haven’t eaten anything today. I am not really hungry. I probably will have a turkey sandwich. Yesterday I made a turkey sandwich with stuffing and cranberry sauce. It was so fucking good. I kind of want a PB&J so I don’t know what I will make.

I am so tired. Last night I think was the first time I slept from like 1am to 8am, with no interruptions. I didn’t take the trazodone last night. I wanted to see how I would do without it. If I can repeat this tonight, I might stop it and let my psychiatrist know. What my therapist said the other day about my dreams being psychological is sticking in my head. I am so annoyed. I asked a friend if experiencing headaches with dreams was psychological and he said it isn’t usual. I didn’t think it was. I can’t control my dreaming.