depressed and slow moving

Depressed and slow moving

I was up between the hours of 2 and 5am last night. I couldn’t sleep and I had to pee a few times because I was thirsty. I never left the house today. I woke up with a headache and I just couldn’t get myself to move with any type of speed. Around 11 I took my meds and then laid back down for a bit. I think I got up around noon to have my first cup of coffee. My DMH worker texted me to see if we were still on. I said we were but by 1 I knew I wasn’t going to be leaving the house. I asked if we could talk on the phone. I was stressing about the discussion paper that is due today. The professor sent an email reminding us it was due. I just felt paralyzed by depression today. It was creeping into my thoughts. I don’t feel well because of the headache and toothache. I don’t want to do a damn thing. I am so damn tired. I still have to do the slides for class and write them in my notebook. I have so much to do and I don’t want to do it. And it is only the second week of class!! Fuck. I am so screwed.

I just submitted the discussion. I misspelled discussion. Oh well. Sue me. I got the thing done. Now I got to reply to two classmates over the weekend. This class is so time consuming. I think I am going to go to bed early tonight. It doesn’t matter what time I go to bed, I will still be up in the middle of the night. I went to bed around 10pm last night as I was paying attention to the game as it went into extra innings. They lost. I didn’t listen to it because my head hurt. I don’t plan on listening tonight.

I made pizza for supper tonight. It’s the only thing I had to eat all day. I just haven’t been hungry. Monday I will try and go to social security for my gender marker change. I need to get it done so that the hospital stops sending me emails telling me to contact registration to update my gender change. I wish you could just email the document to them and be done with it but nope, you need to bring it in person.