Painsomnia kept me up.
I had mac and cheese for dinner last night and I think that annoyed my gallbladder. It was hurting me all night. I slept for a few hours and then woke up around 1ish. That was the end of sleep. I tried going back to sleep at different times but never could. The thing with FAFSA was on my mind and I was feeling really depressed. Around three, I contacted a trans hotline, which was useless. I don’t think there is anyone there because no matter what time I call, no one picks up. I am sick of it and am not going to use it anymore or tell anyone about it. If I see someone promoting it, I am going to tell them no one is there.
Today was a holiday so I didn’t reach out to anyone. It was icy and windy and cold so I didn’t leave the house. Tomorrow it is going to be colder but hopefully no wind. I just hope the streets are better for walking. I talked to my professor about the book as I can relate to it and apparently, we haven’t begun to talk about the section so I am ahead in the reading. I am not looking forward to the Italian homework as there is 18 sections. Ugh. And I got to do a discussion thing on tattoos from the book. I will work on it on Wed. I still need to go to the grocery store and get some American cheese so I can make my cheesy eggs.
I started journaling last night. I was hoping it would help my anxiety around school. Getting my degree means so much to me. If I can’t get it because of the jerk in office, I don’t know what I am going to do. I know mentally I am not going to be stable.
I am so tired. I tried to take a nap a few times today but couldn’t rest. My mind just kept going in the gutter. I kept thinking of ending things. I don’t know if I am going to bring this up to my therapist or not. I guess it will depend on what kind of mood I am in. I just hope I get some sleep between now and then. I am going to bed early tonight. Hopefully I will sleep most of the night.
midnightdemons7 