want to stay in bed

Want to stay in bed

I got out of bed reluctantly because of class but my prof canceled because his shoulder was hurting him. His doctor kept him out of work. I hope he will be ok. I was happy I didn’t have to leave the house. I have been in a depressed mood most of the day. At one point I wanted to die. The thoughts just seem to come out of no where. I am not usually doing anything. I am just in my room and the thoughts will come.

My allergies have been bad all day. The pollen count is high. Has been the past three days. The weather has been super nice though. I have liked being on my new deck with the puppy. I had a couple cups of coffee today, one hot and one iced. It is really all I had to drink. I did have some water with dinner. My bladder has still been cramping all week. I might have to take pyridium. If I still have them tomorrow I am going to call my doc.

I tried reading the Eng stuff but nothing was making sense. It was a PDF and I find it really hard to read and get sometimes. A physical book or paper is better for me than reading on my laptop. I did some suicide research as this week is the Suicide Research Symposium. I have been following it but haven’t attended. It was good to see the new research. I don’t know the funding situation for this type of research. I hope the ongoing work that Jobes has done is not affected by the NIH cuts.

I am so fucking tired. I just took my night meds and a Reese’s treat. My stomach hurts from dinner. It had too much garlic in it. My stomach and garlic don’t get along. There was no way to avoid it as it was minced. My foot has been acting up the past few hours. I just want to go to bed. But it is too early and I don’t want to wake up at 2am.