not the only lonely one

Not the only lonely one

I am listening to Thomas Rhett and Luke Combs. I couldn’t decide which album to play so played both. I am not up to listening Taylor. She has so many good albums it is hard to pick one, though I did create an ERAS playlist so I can listen to those songs. I still haven’t watched the docuseries. I might watch it tonight. Depends on how I feel.

I got up around noon. I had some weird ass dreams that gave me headaches. One had my mother in it and seemed to go on forever. I had a mocha with some pumpkin pie and then I had a cup of hot coffee. I got a stomachache and it was hard to drink the coffee. I haven’t eaten anything since and I am not really hungry but I am making sure I am drinking fluids. It’s hot in my room and I am sweating. I stink so I need to shower.

I was able to clean one corner of my room. I have been meaning to do it for a while and today I finally did it. I had to do it in two tries because my lower back flared up. I brought the stuff to the bins except the trash. I will do that later. I am tired right now. I also did my meds for the week. Friday I did a mistake. I took my morning meds instead of my night meds. I was almost done taking them when I realized my error. I had a double dose of antidepressant so I called the pharmacy. They said to look out for side effects and they told me what to look for. If I experienced them to call my pcp or go to the ED. I was ok. I didn’t experience anything other than some mild jerking in my legs. I took some Ativan so I wouldn’t freak out and be up all night worrying. I slept most of yesterday. I didn’t want to get out of bed. I had McDs. It was the only thing I ate yesterday.

Tomorrow grades are due so I will finally get my GPA adjusted. Then I can redo the audit and see what I need to take next. I should be done with most of my requirements. I know I need to take a 400 level psych class. I need to talk to my psych advisor and see what would be best to take. I am getting there. It feels so far away but I am close. The end line is getting there.

I have therapy tomorrow. I am glad. I need to talk about how bad this weekend was. Christmas was bad but it just got worse from there. I need to shower today and am trying to motivate myself. I usually pick out my clothes and that helps. I haven’t done that yet. Also my bitchy sister isn’t home so taking a shower now would be ideal. Tomorrow is supposed to rain so I probably won’t go out unless it is a light rain. I still need to go to the library to get that stupid book I want to read. I need to get my blood done this week so maybe I will go then before I go to the hospital. I have been up for about four hours and I am already tired. I want to nap. That is all I want to do lately but the problem is my chest gets tight the longer I lie down. I just become stiff. Sucks.