I had therapy this morning. We were talking about feelings and how I handle them, which is basically stuffing them. We were really talking when time ran out. I said I was OK but afterwards I wasn’t. Got really depressed and decided not to go to class. I just don’t want to deal with people today and trying to understand something over my head.
I bought dog food and gave the puppy wet food. This was hours ago and she still hasn’t pooped. I don’t want her to poop in the house so I am staying downstairs. I slept pretty good last night but I was up pretty early. I heard my sister as she was getting ready for work.
I feel so rotten. Psychache is high. I just hurt. Part of it is grief. Been thinking of my father all week. Yesterday was his birthday. He is part of the reason I stuff my emotions. We weren’t allowed to show emotions when we were kids. I’ll never forget when I was like 10 my best friend in school moved away and I was sad. I was crying and he thought it was foolish. Told me he would give me something to cry about if I didn’t stop.
My sister was home early. She took me out to dinner. I had a burger and she had wings. She won money on Keno that covered the bill. Think it was $80. She is lucky like that. I finally had my Jack and coke. It was good. I didn’t tell her about how depressed I was. I don’t want to worry her. Her job is stressful as it is.
I am so tired now. I played with the puppy and gave her hugs which she growled at but not in a mean way. She never snaps at you. It was like rolling your eyes. She is funny.
She built herself a fort and then I covered her in the pink blanket.
midnightdemons7 