Saturday Blog 04052024
I had my meeting with my DMH case worker yesterday. I was so tired afterwards. I came home and just crashed. I didn’t eat or drink anything other than the cup of coffee before I left. I didn’t get up till this morning. I have been feeling kind of shitty the past few days. I still haven’t eaten anything today. I think I am going to make a Shepard’s pie if I have it.
Grades finally came in and I have a B average. I am so happy about this. I am still not sure if I am going to take the final or not. I might just to see if I can improve my grade some. I am going to study a lot this weekend so I can get a good grade. The material is fairly easy but knowing the different theories of emotion has me all confused. They are similar but different.
I’m listening to Tortured Poets again. One of her songs was stuck in my head again. I love this album so much. I don’t know what my favorite song is. There have been at least three songs I have put on repeat. Florida!!! Is my one of them. The beat of this song is so cool. And the lyrics are awesome.
I just had something to eat and I want to take a nap. I am trying to resist. I am listening to the game now. They are tied at 1 in the 5th. I don’t know why I am so tired. I slept good. I have to try and force fluids today as I have the runs again. I didn’t go for like three days and then today it’s flowing. I think the new magnesium pill I am taking is the culprit. But if I don’t take the mag, I get really bad cramps in my feet.
I am so excited that I now have time to read. I started Norse Mythology again but haven’t gotten into it because I had other reading to do. Now that the semester is winding down, I can read it. I bought a bunch of books and really can’t wait to read them. If the weather is good tomorrow, I might go to Starbucks and read for a bit. I haven’t been to Starbucks in more than a week. I miss having espresso.
Feel like shit today
I woke up in the middle of the night again to pee and it took a while to get back to sleep. Then I woke up a few hours later to pee again. It was around 730 so I took my meds and went back to sleep. I don’t know what happened but when my med alarm went off at 10, I felt like absolute shit and had a bad hangover. I got my migraine med and brought it up to my room to bring it to room temp before injecting it. My sister called me around noon and I reluctantly got up. I wasn’t going to go to class. It was too late and I wasn’t in the mood to “fly”. I had some coffee and I wanted McD’s.
I responded to my therapist’s question but haven’t had a response yet. I struggled to stay awake for most of the day and then around 3 I gave up. I rested until around 1830. I had some ice cream and now my teeth hurt from the cold. I got a cold sore on my lip that hurts. I finally got some medicine for it. It is helping to ease the pain. It sucks I can’t drink while the medicine is on because I tend to wipe it off. I have been feeling so off today. The nap helped. I woke up to it pouring out. There was some thunderstorms in the area but I didn’t hear it.
Sox lost today. It was a day game so I was expecting it. I am glad they played when they did or they might have had a rain postponement. Now they will be in Minnesota and it will be late game times. I have my night free so I think I am going to re-read chapter 10. I wanted to do it this afternoon but I took a nap instead. I managed a shave and a shower today. I think that is why I needed a nap afterwards. I was hoping the shower would get rid of the shittiness but it didn’t. I had fleeting thoughts of suicidality today. I wanted to text my therapist but thought better of it.
I haven’t quite decided how I will get to my appointment tomorrow. I can take a cab or I can take the T and walk there. I will decide tomorrow. Sucks because either way, I can’t have Starbucks.
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