Category: depression

Saturday Blog 22032025

Today I am remembering my friend Ivan who’s birthday is today. Miss you Ivan and hope you have your many desserts today in heaven.

I didn’t sleep at all last night. I tried but never did. I just wasn’t sleepy. I kept alternating reading my book and playing my game. I have five chapters left to read. If I stick with it, I should finish the book by Monday. And then I can start the new book, which I think is Ellison.

I had an appointment today for a vaccination at my pharmacy where I get my meds so I got up for that. There was no time for coffee so I just left the house. I went to Starbucks and had something to eat then went to the pharmacy. I was pretty tired after I came home. I tried to nap but couldn’t. I just rested. I felt myself trying to sleep but I just couldn’t doze off. As I was leaving the pharmacy, I bought some Reese’s eggs. I have been in a chocolate phase lately. They were having a sale, buy one at regular price and then get the second bag for a buck.

I have had a headache the past three days, since the day I was up at 3am. I think that was Wednesday. I haven’t been able to get rid of it despite taking ibuprofen for it. My chest pain is feeling better but I am still sore in some spots.

I had my advising appointment yesterday. I told her that I hope I can take classes next semester but it will all be up to what I put on the FAFSA. I am hoping I can finish my degree because that is so important to me right now. I was depressed the rest of the day because of it. I didn’t see my DMH worker because I didn’t feel like leaving the house. I could have spoke to her on the phone but I didn’t want to do that either. I just wanted to be left alone.

I have been playing my game all day. I only read one chapter in my book but after this blog I am going to read for a bit until I pass out. I am so tired and my head is hurting. I don’t know how much I will actually read tonight. I read a lot during the night. I have been taking notes on the book to keep things straight. The book just got interesting so I might be reading a little more tonight.

I got my meds today as I was out of my Depakote. The weather was nice outside. I just wore my Tshirt and jeans. For the first time in a long while, I didn’t get too out of breath while walking. I guess the temps play a role.

I’ve been up since 3. I slept for about 4 hrs. I couldn’t go back to sleep so just decided to stay up. I had three appts today. The first was with my pcp’s colleague to discuss my chest pain. She thinks it is muscle in nature and wants me to take ibuprofen for a few days.

Next appt was with the sleep specialist. That was a long appt. She basically talked for a half hour about sleep hygiene. She wants me to see a CBT-I therapist. She is going to discuss with my doc if i need a sleep study or at least to sleep with an oximeter on as I guess my oxygen levels dropped a little while I was sleeping during my last study. I’d rather have a thing on my finger than the whole wires and shit on my head. I’m to report back in a week or so to discuss if her recommendations were helpful in improving my sleep. She wants me to be up by 8am and go to sleep between 10 and 11. Some nights I can’t make it to 9 let alone 10. The goal is to have 8 to 9 hours even if it’s broken. Not doing that today as my sleep is already broken.

My last appt was with neuro. The NP looked like she was gonna cry. I don’t know. We went over meds and how the headaches/migraines have been. It has been an improvement.

I made an appt with my therapist for tomorrow as i wasn’t able to see her today. It will be virtual.

I tried to nap and failed. I have such a bloody headache. I got some reading done in my book. I read two chapters. I’m getting there. I still need to turn in my Italian homework. I’ll do that tomorrow.