Category: depression

First migraine of 2026

I was up to pee every few hours after like 430am. In between I was dreaming weird shit again. I don’t remember any of it now but one of the dreams gave me a migraine around 8am and it didn’t go away when I woke up. I have been miserable all day with my head hurting me. I feel blah and drained. I was in bed till after 2pm. I got up and tried a new yogurt. It didn’t taste very good. I had a piece of pumpkin pie and one cup of coffee. I wasn’t that hungry and I didn’t know what I wanted to eat.

I went back to my room after finishing my coffee and laid down. My head was splitting. I was so tired but I didn’t sleep. I got up after a couple of hours. I had to do my meds for the week. I need to shower as I stink. I want to do it tomorrow while my sister is at work so I can groom in peace. I was thinking of doing it before my therapy appt. I really need to tone down my beard. I need a haircut. I am debating going to the barber and have them shave my head but I don’t know how much it will be. I have to call them.

I have therapy tomorrow and then nothing else the rest of the week. I need to work on my bed to clear it off. It’s a task I have been putting off for months now. I know I will feel better when nothing is on my bed except my essential office stuff (laptop, journal, etc). Just need some energy to get it done. I wanted to do it today but my damn head hurts too much and I don’t have a lot of energy. Today is my niece’s birthday and I was supposed to go to brunch to celebrate her but my head hurt too much. I had set the alarm for 8 to shower as I didn’t last night like I wanted to. I actually don’t remember the last time I showered.

I’ve been switching off my books as I am reading two at the same time. I should be done by the end of the week with one of them. I never got the book from the library. Maybe this week if it isn’t that cold, I will go to the square. I haven’t really left the house except to go grocery shopping. I need to make more of an effort to get out.

I have been diagnosed with OCCGBD…obsessive, compulsive, cursing, grumpy bugger disorder. There is no cure….

Day after New Years

I went to bed around 10 and then woke up around 430 because I had to pee. I didn’t want to get up but did an hour later. I was able to sleep a little more and dream weird shit. I don’t know why I keep dreaming I am in a psych hospital. I dreamt about my friend who passed away like two years ago, maybe three now. I told him that I love him and was giving him a huge hug.

I got up around noon. My cousin was to take me grocery shopping so I could get some deli meat but he canceled on me. I had two cups of coffee. I ordered McDs for lunch because I wanted a burger. It came cold. I wasn’t happy about that. I plan on having a chicken pot pie for dinner.

My niece texted me this morning about leaving the door open for her ex. I was all excited about seeing the puppy as he has her. But he never showed and now my niece doesn’t think he is coming. I am sad. I don’t know when I will see my pup again.

I watched episode 4 of Taylor’s docuseries last night. It was awesome seeing Sabrina Carpenter and Travis. I really like how Travis went from all butthurt because Taylor wouldn’t talk to him when he went to one of her shows for voice rest and is now her fiancé. It’s a love story alright.

I ordered my groceries to be delivered tomorrow. They didn’t have my usual time available probably because I ordered them after 1pm. I didn’t get deli meat because you can only order a half a pound and I want a quarter of a pound. I also can’t get the roast beef that I want because it isn’t available. Better to just go to the store.

I don’t think the dose I am on for the weight loss drug is effective anymore. I seem to be gaining weight instead of losing it. I am eating less (minus today’s food) so I don’t understand it. My stomach is hurting me right now. I just took some Mylanta. I took the drug today and for the first time, I felt the needle when I injected. I know the stomachache is because of the drug as it is the same type of pain I always get for a few days after taking it.

I don’t know if it is because it is dry in my room or I am getting a cold, but my nose has been stuffy all day. It is annoying me. I took some flonase so hopefully it goes away. My sister sprayed something in the kitchen and I was sneezing my head off. I hate it when she does that. But I scared her good today. I was in the bathroom and she opened the door, not expecting me to be there. Haha.

New Year’s Day 2026

I somehow got put on a group text with my aunt’s family and my phone has been blowing up since yesterday afternoon with everyone of the 15 people saying the same thing. Then it started again at midnight and I went nuts. I shut my damn phone off. This was my mother’s side of the family. Then today I get my father’s side, which is another group text. But I didn’t mind it because I got to see my new cousin that was born at 1156pm. Just 4 minutes shy of being a New Year’s baby.

I have been tired most of the day. I took a trazodone last night so I slept until 840 I think but couldn’t go back to sleep. I ended up getting up around 11 because I needed coffee. My sister took me grocery shopping so I have food until I get my grocery order delivered on Sat. I am down to my last two bottle of Powerade and I am trying to make them last. I was wicked thirsty when I got up so I drank like half the bottle. I got eggs so I can make breakfast tomorrow. I was going to make an egg today but my sister used them to make cookies. I ended up having pancakes. I got a few cans of my favorite soup. I forgot to see if they had corn chowder so I will be getting it on my grocery order.

I came home a sweaty mess. It was so hot in the grocery store despite it being wicked cold outside. My tshirt was soaked. I need to shower tonight. I snoozed a little with the puppy after my sister had gone downstairs. She likes me better than her as she snuggled with me. She also pooped outside on the porch which I was happy about. There was snow on the porch so I was sure she would even do anything outside other than sniff around. She has a habit of eating her poop so after she went, I brought her inside.

I bought a frozen pizza and that is what I am having for dinner. I also got a chicken pot pie. That will be lunch tomorrow. I forgot to get turkey breast. I wanted to get roast beef but I didn’t have enough money on me. I used my cash last night for dinner so didn’t have extra.

I am so tired. I watched Taylor’s docuseries episode 3. I will watch episode 4 tonight. I still need to hang her calendar up.