Category: depression

Low battery

Yesterday was a weird day. I didn’t sleep again and woke up just before my therapy appt. I was pretty lifeless and the therapist noticed it. I was yawning most of the session and then she wanted to do another PHQ. She sent it to me and I did it but I don’t think she got it for whatever reason. She wanted me to be more active and I just wasn’t feeling it. I said this is me in my depression. After session, I fell asleep and didn’t get up till today.

The puppy has her menses and it is making her miserable. She has been on her blankets all day. I feel so bad.

I had to go out today to get my meds. I am out of my BP meds so needed to get more. I had a pumpkin cold foam brew and it was good. It wasn’t like the pumpkin spice latte that is really sweet. I will get it again. My stomach is killing me today. I had Starbucks spinach feta wrap. I also need to make sausages tonight as I took them out the other day. I wanted to make them with potatoes but I am out of them.

There is a police situation at my college right now in one of the residence halls. I hope everyone stays safe. I am glad I am not on campus this semester. There are reports that shots have been fired but no reports on injuries. Hope they stay safe. Update: campus is now closed. No other word at this time.

I am tired. I am trying not to nap. I still need to read my Econ stuff and take the quizzes. I think I need to set my med alarm earlier. I have it set for 10am. But I’ve been waking up before that time and then by the time it goes off, I don’t want to get out of bed. Maybe I will try 9am and see if that helps. I never know what time to get up because my sleep is so fucked up.

I made an appt with my pcp for next week for my CRPS foot pain. I can’t take it anymore. Every night it hurts on some level and sometimes it prevents me from sleeping. I can’t stay in one position anymore. I am tossing and turning. Soon as I get comfortable, my foot hurts and I have to move again. It is mostly at night that I have this pain.

I am going to grill some sausages for dinner. I hope my brother in law has some with me. My sister abandoned be for the casino so I will have to grill on my own. I have never grilled sausages before. This will be a fun experiment. If I can turn the thing on without it exploding that is A+…

School work and stuff

I had a difficult night sleeping due to reflux. My stomach was on fire until I took my reflux pill. Mylanta wasn’t cutting it and I took two doses. I still haven’t moved my bowels. I took Miralax yesterday and still nothing. I thought I might go last night but nothing. I will take another dose of Miralax in the morning. I was finally able to schedule my Covid shot. I thought I scheduled it in the morning, but it is the afternoon so I changed it. I know I will be too tired to go.

I finally was able to do my psych discussion thing. I nearly panicked when I didn’t see more module stuff today then remembered she posts it on Tuesdays. Econ had already posted stuff for the week. I just have the two quizzes and chap 3 to read. I actually need to read chap 2, which I will do on Wed. I finished chap 1 today. It took me a long time to get to it but it only took me like 15 mins to finish. I won’t learn from this.

I didn’t want to meet my DMH worker today so canceled. I was tired and just couldn’t get going today. I didn’t know if she was in the office or at home. We just texted each other. Tomorrow I have an appt with my psychiatrist. It should be a short appt as there is nothing really new to update him on other than my new therapist, which I still don’t have a telephone number for. I will get it this week when I see her. I really like that my therapist isn’t apart of the hospital system where I get my regular care is. I hated that everyone on my team had access to my therapist’s notes. It felt violating.

I might have to see my pcp soon if my CRPS pain doesn’t quiet down. It has been a month now that it has been hurting me every single night. It’s always a different pain. But it is usually either nerve or bone pain that I experience. It is more annoying than anything. Like right now my foot is tingling. It doesn’t help that sometimes I get cramps in my foot that are so damn painful. Sometimes when I put my other foot on top of it will set off the cramps. There is like a spot that just gets annoyed.

Thomas Rhett’s Notice has been running through my head all day. I am listening to his album now. I have all but one of his albums. I have to go through his list and find out which one I am missing. I love his music. He is having another baby. This makes child number 5! He is so blessed. He has four girls right now. Maybe this one will be a boy. We’ll find out soon.