Category: depression

The Climb

Last night I watch a Taylor reel and she played the Climb. I love the song as it is so motivating. I have been listening to it on repeat the last couple of days. It is a song by Miley Cyrus from her movie Hannah Montana.

Fucking drama today. The puppy got into her meds and ate all of them. She vomited every where. She is fine, thank god. She also pooped three times across the kitchen which I cleaned up. Her daddy came and picked her up. I had to go to the dentist.

The dentist repeated what he told me last time. I have to pay around $300 in fillings, with insurance. I go for my first filling next month. In the meantime I have to figure out how to get to the oral surgeon.

I came home and was tired. I bought pizza for dinner. My grocery order came in. I have ice cream and I had it for dessert. Unfortunately, I won’t be able to put in the big order for the month. Not unless I get some money from school. They just sent me an email saying I had to verify something. I click on the things and there is no action I need to do. They still have summer term up on my WISER hold list. Hopefully that will clear next week after add/drop. I still haven’t started reading for my Econ class. I will try tomorrow. I have to figure out the graph thing. That is due on Monday. Last night I couldn’t sleep (espresso decided to work at 9pm, ugh) so I read some more of psych. I have to answer some questions about it and then respond to one of my classmates comments.

Today was weight loss shot day. I am down another two pounds, making it nine pounds I have lost so far. I have been eating less. My stomach has been so so today. I only had one cup of coffee today. I didn’t order Starbucks today. My dentist appt was late and I didn’t want to be up all night again, though it would be nice seeing the Sox are on the West coast and game doesn’t start until 945pm. I am not going to make it to the first inning tonight. I am just too tired. I was running a low grade temp again last night. My arm feels better today and the fever is gone. It’s still warm so I have the AC on. I need to take a shower tomorrow. I’ve given up shaving.

Feeling tired but was able to go out today

I had two vaccines on Tues and they kicked my ass yesterday. I was running a low grade temp most of the day and just felt tired. I didn’t sleep because the fever continued until I took some ibuprofen. Finally it went down and I was able to rest. I still feel tired but less than I was.

I don’t know why, but I got my meds delivered. It was close to the time I had to go to the dentist so I was a little late. I took a Lyft to get to the Square. It was the same tune, I had to get my teeth pulled before it caused more damage. They sent me to the same oral surgeon but now she is in another town. I got to figure out how to get there. There is a bus that goes close to there but I will have to walk 0.3 miles. That is kind of far for me. The dentists weren’t on site so I had to make another appt to be seen. I will be going tomorrow afternoon.

I wanted to read Econ today but I got home and feel so tired again. I haven’t eaten anything all day. I bought a burrito bowl but it was so salty, I couldn’t eat it. I should have bought pizza. I am not really hungry. I haven’t eaten anything since yesterday. I didn’t have dinner last night. I have been drinking water more than Gatorade. I bought a couple of Gatorade bottles the other day as I ran out. I need to do a grocery order soon. I am just waiting for some bills to clear before placing it. I will have Ensure again tonight to take with the Latuda. I am craving ice cream so bad. I wish the pharmacies weren’t selling them for like $7 each. Too expensive. I just tried to Instacart a few groceries so I could have ice cream tonight. They don’t have delivery right now ☹. So I will get it tomorrow morning. Ugh.

I did a few things for my Econ class. I haven’t started the reading yet. My psych class assigned groups. I don’t know anyone in the group and I am the only one with pronouns. Fun. I got to find out about the app and how to use it. I need a app code of some kind and I didn’t get it when I bought the damn thing. The bookstore said the professor has it. I haven’t seen it posted yet on the syllabus or anything. I am glad I read the first chapter so I am not too far behind. I just need to read the article she has, which is 20 pages. It’s about trauma.

Semester starts today

I woke up a few times during the night. I was able to fall asleep after my sister left for work. Then I woke up to my med alarm. I had to pee so I got up and decided I might as well stay up as the semester begins today. I needed coffee first so after I took my meds and played my game for a bit, I went downstairs.

The puppy was in bed with her daddy. She had peed under the kitchen table. I cleaned it up. My sister made pumpkin bread and I had a slice. It was good with chocolate chips. I had two cups of coffee. Then I went to get my laptop. I saw some stuff for Econ class and became overwhelmed. I have to do a graph and there is no help with it. I am going to have to google it as I don’t remember how to do it. It has been a long time since I had to do stuff like that. I have two chapters to read for that class and an assignment. Next week will be quizzes on the chapters. The psych class released the trauma article I need to read. She also had a few assignments that are due on Monday. I have decided that Tues and Thurs will be days I will work on psych and the other days I will work on Econ. Both classes seem to have stuff due on Mondays. Last night I tried finishing psych chapt 1 and got tired on the last page. I was texting with a friend and just went to sleep.

Tomorrow I see my therapist. It will be our third meeting. She wants to go over goals for therapy and I have a hard time with setting them. I don’t really know what I want out of therapy. I always seem to come back to this question of goals for therapy or what I want. Then I think I don’t need it but I tend to suffer severe depressions and on/off suicidality.

My sister had some soup for dinner and I joined her. It was good and settled my stomach a little bit. I’ve been having a bit of upset stomach on and off today with my gallbladder hurting me. I also been having CRPS pain in my foot, mostly bone pain. I took a pain med so I am kind of scattered right now. I need to read a few pages of psych. Tomorrow I will figure out how to set up the apps for my courses. For some reason, it didn’t automatically load.