Category: depression

I did a lot of that today. I’ve been up since 4. I woke up from a dream about my mother. For a few minutes it was like she was alive and we were talking like we always do. Then I woke up and got a headache from hell. I just got a migraine.

I went to class. I struggled to pay attention. I was so damn sleepy. I tried snoozing on the train but there was someone who was smoking and he kept passing out. I reported him but no one responded. The train smelled of smoke. I hate it. I had to hold my bag because the guy spilled his drink. I had to wait for the bus. I was so hungry and tired. If I didn’t have to pee I would have gone to Starbucks for something.

I tried to nap but my bladder kept me awake. I took an Ativan. I am gonna go to bed early. I have therapy tomorrow. I am really surprised the office didn’t call to confirm. I got such a headache. Hope I can sleep. I slept through the night despite waking up around midnight because of a thunderstorm. I dreamt my sister called me but she didn’t. Then the thunder scared the crap out of me. It must have rolled for like two minutes. It was so loud. It was a nice day but the wind made it colder than it was. Tomorrow is supposed to be 70 but rainy.

Trans Visibility Day 2025

I talked with my DMH worker today. It was a good talk, though I don’t think she understands that the Felon is taking away federal grants and money away from transgender students. Yes, I am a low income earner, but that isn’t enough to get me the money I need for my degree. I might be able to get money from school. Fuck this is so nerve racking. So today on visibility I am trying to be visible and heard.

I made a cake today that I have been meaning to make since I got the ingredients. I forgot one ingredient, the milk so it was kind of thin. It was still good and lemony. I might make it again, with all the ingredients this time.

I had a weird night of dreams being in the psych hosp. The social worker said that she spoke to my sister and I said I wish you would have told me as she has been drinking since 11. I don’t know why I thought this. My sister wouldn’t drink at that time. I don’t know. I kept looking for my room and when I found it, my bedding was changed to red sheets. My roommate had changed my sheets and I refused to use them. Then I woke up. I wanted to read my book today but I went to language lab and I am so tired. I used most of my spoons to make the cake. I tried to do some Italian work but I was failing miserably. I just looked at the quiz and I am freaking out. At least with the language lab I now understand a little more about reflexive verbs and which auxiliary verb to use.

I ran out of spoons to read. I am tired. The Sox lost again today. First inning was completely terrible. Devers continues to struggle. It hasn’t been a week yet and already he hasn’t gotten one hit. He keeps on striking out. I don’t know if he will catch up. He didn’t have too many Spring Training games. I am trying to be patient with him but it is disappointing. Their record is 1-4 right now. Sad.

Sunday scaries

I had a dream last night that I had missed a lot of class and was trying to get to class but didn’t have the book with me. By the time I got the book, the class was over. I felt bad. In the dream, I was hospitalized for psych. My mother was in it too. I am surprised I didn’t get a headache when I woke up.

I did the meds for the week. I am starting a new supplement for migraines. I hope it works. I asked my neuro about it and she said it is good. We’ll see how it works out.

I need to read my book today. I don’t like it. I finished my Italian homework yesterday. I had to email the professor to see what I was doing wrong. I was all confused. Quiz is next week. I hope I do better this time around or I will have to change to pass/fail for the class.

I am talking to my DMH worker tomorrow. We had to switch days a bit. I like talking to her. She is really supportive. It is still cold in my room. I had taken off my long sleeve shirt to brush my teeth and didn’t put it back on. I got to get ready soon. It’s my brother in law’s birthday today. We are going to a bar. Should be fun. My niece isn’t going to be there because she has to work. I wanted to get pics of her and my older niece. Maybe some other time.

I have therapy this week. I don’t know if it will be in person yet. Depends on how Tues goes for me. I need to stop in the local bookstore and pick up the books I bought. I want to see the new location as they moved. I don’t know how far away it is from the station. It’s been a while since I have been in that part of Mass Ave.

I just weighed myself. I am down four pounds. I haven’t been eating the past few days. Just small meals. Last night, I just made tater tots. I should take out the chicken so I can have dinner for tomorrow night. If we have BBQ sauce, I will make it with that. Otherwise I will just roast it with some potatoes. I have a cake I have been meaning to make. Maybe I will make it tomorrow. I like making things when my sister isn’t home because she always bitches at me.

My Sox lost again last night. I fell asleep listening to the game. I woke up to basketball on the app. I shut it off and then went back to sleep. I woke up around 1am and realized I didn’t plug in my phone. I was glad I woke up or my phone would have been dead in the morning. I just had one cup of coffee so far today. Game is on at 2 today. New pitcher is on, though I can’t remember if he came out late during last season or not.