midnightdemons7

Saturday Blog 13122025

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TAYLOR SWIFT!!!!!

I love that I share my birthday month with Taylor. My birthday will be in ten days. I will be turning the big 50. I realized the other day I spent half my life in a disabled state, either mentally or physically and sometimes both since I was 25. I know one thing. Whenever I graduate from UMB, I plan on getting a class ring. I haven’t seen tables for them since I was on campus like 20 years ago but fuck. I want one after all the grueling and mental stakes getting my bachelor’s degree put me through. I know “normal” people probably don’t suffer as much getting their what is supposed to be a 4 year degree but I have had issues that have kept me off track.

Just for fun, I was looking at master’s programs. I want to get a MSPsy degree but I couldn’t find a Mass college that had it. I remember finding one when I first looked it up but I forgot where it was. Turns out they don’t typically have an MS for psych. It’s mostly MAs. So now I am wondering if I should put myself through hell taking this bio class next semester. I still have time to change it. I am going to look a little more for that program and if I can’t find it, I won’t take the class.

I had a hard time going to sleep last night after I watched the final tour of Taylor Swift’s ERAS. I think I finally passed out sometime around 1. I had been up for more than 20 hours. I was tired today. But my bladder wasn’t. I was able to take the steroids early and throughout the day like I am supposed to. I really haven’t eaten much and only had one cup of coffee. I just had a hot cocoa because I wanted something warm. It was good after I put some half and half in it. I took a nap in the afternoon. Then I got a text from my niece saying she was here. She made banana bread for her mother.

I am so sleepy. I didn’t do anything today. I had coffee at my sister’s because my bathroom was being used by my niece’s boyfriend. Tomorrow I am going to try and clear my bed off, even if it is just a little corner of it. I had made progress but then my sister dumped laundry on my bed. I hate when she does this. Drives me crazy.

Going to be a long day

I woke up around 430 to pee and then I started sneezing so going back to sleep was not happening. I was wicked thirsty. I drank more than half of a Powerade bottle and some water. My stomach is still upset from all the food I ate yesterday. I was a hungry maniac. I finished off the casserole, ordered Starbucks for a treat, and then I ordered McDs. I wanted fries so bad. I was going to order from a sub shop but it was like $30 for a sub and fries. I was like, that is ridiculous. I paid half that for McDs. I got a quarter pounder and fries meal.

I was just resting when my sister knocked on the door. The puppy came upstairs looking for love. I gave her a few treats and she didn’t spit them out. For a while she wasn’t eating Milk Bone treats for some reason. She is a picky dog. And spoiled. My sister let her out last night on the porch and she got out because the gate was open. She went out in the street. My niece had to call her in. I am just glad she didn’t take off.

Since I am up and my sister and niece are going to work, I will try and take a shower this morning. I need to trim my eyebrows as they are all messed up and the hair is long. I will keep my beard as it is for now. It’s not too thick yet. I need to go to the pharmacy and pick up my meds. I message my neuro NP about the headaches I have been getting. She decided to put me on steroid pack to see if that calms it down. I am a little nervous because it is prednisone and not dexamethasone. I have more experience with that one than Pred. We’ll see how it goes. Hopefully I won’t have too many side effects.

I talked with my DMH worker yesterday. I had taken a sleeping pill and overslept. I woke up like five minutes after our appt was to start. She ended up calling me. We had a good talk. I will see her again the end of Dec.

I have been watching the final ERAS tour on Disney +. I love Taylor and her costumes but dislike her use of snakes for one of her songs (Are you ready for it). I am snake phobic so it freaks me out a little bit, ok a lot. I watched the documentary this morning after I started writing this. I showered and picked up my meds. I froze my ass off for a half hour as I just missed the bus. I wore a mask and I should have probably kept it on on the walk home but I decided to take it off once I got off the bus. I was wheezing when I got home. Cold air and me don’t mix, even though I love cold weather. I’ll take a day like today over a 90 degree day.

My blood pressure is back to being normal. I am just on 25 mg of the blood pressure med and need to go up to 75 mg. Then I need to get my bloodwork done. I will sync it with my T as I need an accurate level done. It probably won’t be until Jan.

Grades still aren’t back yet. Grade don’t have to be in till the 29^th and I hope the professor doesn’t take her blessed time with it.

Barefoot

I woke up later than I wanted to because I had a hard time sleeping. I was so restless with anxiety last night. My allergies were going wild so I took a Benadryl and that helped me to sleep. I got up have coffee. I had two cups but didn’t eat anything. I wasn’t hungry. After my second cup, I took my exam.

It was fine except my mouse was not acting right. I would hit the right click but it was like I was hitting the left click. It made progressing through so difficult. I hope I didn’t miss any questions because of it. I scored a 65. I am ok with that grade. If I had time to look up answers it would have been a better grade. Now I am just waiting for the paper grade to see what I get in this class.

I restarted the laptop and the mouse is acting normal so maybe it was a browser thing. I don’t know. I was scared that I would have to bring the laptop to the repair shop. I went to play with the puppy after I had the exam. I was hungry so I heated up some of the casserole. I think I am going to be eating it all week. I am craving a burger though. Maybe tomorrow after my DMH appt, I will get some. But I don’t know if I want to be carrying it around when I need to go to the square for my meds. I didn’t go today. I just couldn’t get myself to get dressed. I still need to shower. I am taking my time with preparing myself for it.

The NP got back to me about my BPs. I can restart the BP med at 25 mg. then go up next week until I am up to 75 mg. I asked when I will need to get labs. I haven’t gotten a response yet. I also messaged my neuro NP because I keep getting headaches every evening and it’s been this way the past two weeks. I only got one migraine in that time frame. The headache is at the back of my head instead of the front where they usually are. I am just sick of getting a damn headache every single day.