midnightdemons7

Stuffed with leftovers and ice cream

I woke up a little before 1am to pee and had a hard time getting back to sleep. I was up a few hours before I finally fell back to sleep. Then I woke up around 7ish to pee again. I took my meds and managed to sleep. I didn’t get up till 12ish. I wanted coffee. I went downstairs to my sister’s. She ended up giving me her Keurig. I was thankful. I had another cup of coffee and then went upstairs.

I read the article on cortisol and suicide. It was interesting and I am going to write it up. I just had a ton of food and then I had ice cream followed by a coffee because I wanted something hot. My niece had the door open so the kitchen was cold. Now I don’t feel like doing anything.

I wanted to buzz my hair but I didn’t have the energy to do it. I haven’t been in the mood to do much of anything today. I keep thinking about my paper but not sure where to go with it. I know it will come to me but time is running out and I need a rough draft by Sunday. I only got like 400 words and one page. It needs to be at least four pages.

My bitchy sister came home and was so “supportive”. She said I stink and need a shower. Thanks. Showering was the last thing on my mind today. Maybe if I did my hair, I might have showered afterwards. I am tired and I didn’t do anything all day except drink coffee. I had three cups. The third cup I had with dinner after I had the ice cream. I just wanted something hot. I been feeling kind of depressed today. Been thinking of my mother and father. My niece had a picture of them as her cover and in this pic, I sort of look like my father. I miss my parents. Turkey day was not the same this year. It never will be the same.

The moment I knew

My sister and I woke up around the same time to pee. I waited for her to go and then I went. I tried to go back to sleep and couldn’t so I worked on my paper. I finally started the thing at like 5 this morning. I wanted coffee but it was too early to go to my sister’s apartment. I wasn’t sure I was writing anything good. And then my sources ran out and I didn’t know what else to write. I only had read a few papers. I read one paper today that I will go on about as it is important. I would have written more but I got a wicked headache/migraine and that ended things. It seems around late afternoon, the headaches start. I don’t know if it is because I need food or I am tired or what.

My niece was baking things so I went downstairs to see her. My sister was doing stuff, too. Making weird stuff. I haven’t quite decided what to wear tomorrow. I think I am going to wear sweatpants. I thought about just wearing my pajamas so I wouldn’t have to change. But I won’t. I wouldn’t feel comfortable doing so, even though it is my aunt’s house.

Yesterday, I got the new migraine med. It was two shot and they both hurt. I don’t know how far apart the injections need to be. I guess the pharmacy will tell me or I will ask my doc. I think I see the NP next month or later this month. I got a call from the therapy place this morning reminding me I have an appointment on Monday. They used my deadname. I am going to get it fixed on Monday.