midnightdemons7

I just want you

Last night it was really hot in my room so I went downstairs and was snoozing on my niece’s bed as she wasn’t home yet. I ended up falling asleep and cuddling with the puppy. My niece never came home. I have no idea where she is. She hasn’t been responding to my messages. I hope she is ok. I kind of woke up this morning because bitch was loud and the puppy went to the bathroom in the kitchen. I went back to sleep until my med alarm went off. I honestly had no idea what the noise was. I had set an alarm for 830 but stayed in bed. I haven’t heard my med alarm in a long time because I usually take my meds before it went off and earlier than the time I have set.

I had a cup of coffee after I took my meds and got my glasses. I had my phone but I didn’t have my glasses which is kind of stupid as I can’t read my phone without them. After I had my coffee, I went in my room and it was like the tropics. It was so damn hot. It was 81 degrees. 19 outside. I had the ceiling fan on but it wasn’t doing much. I had my session. I told her how worthless and guilty I felt over things and the depression being bad. She asked if I wanted support like a partial hospital and I said no. I don’t find them helpful. I actually find inpatient group much better than outpatient.

I texted my cousin to see if he was still going to take me to the grocery store tomorrow and he told me he could take me today. I waited till he was ready and then I went. I got a few things. They didn’t have the yogurt I wanted so I got something similar. I hope I like it. I also got corn muffins for breakfast. I finally got some roast beef. I didn’t get cheese because that flares up my gallbladder. I am so sad I can’t have cheese anymore.

I had a turkey sandwich and clam chowder for lunch. My stomach was quick to become upset. My side pain hasn’t flared up so that is good. I am listening to Taylor. I made a 1989 and Show girl playlist. I think I am going to have an Ensure with my night meds again. I don’t want my stomach to hurt me all night so I am not going to eat anything. I will make sure that I drink water or Powerade so I stay hydrated. I am going to have to make sure I drink because it is so damn hot in my room and I am not sure when the temps will go down. Heat isn’t above 70 so I don’t understand why it is so hot. We are supposed to get bad weather this weekend. I hope the first day of school isn’t canceled. That would suck.

Are you insane

I got an email this morning from my advisor. Because I am not taking six credit this semester my financial aid is in jeopardy. I have to do a SAP thing to be on track. I hope I get the financial aid I was originally was awarded or I am screwed.

I was up most of the night sneezing my damn head off. I would stop and then start up again like fifteen minutes later. I ended up finishing my book. Then I was bored. I tried sleeping but I was so restless. I kept tossing and turning.

I got up around 12. I played my game and then made coffee. The puppy was sleeping so I pet her for a bit. I had some muffin things with my coffee. Then I brushed my teeth and shaved my head. I also trimmed my beard. I did a bad job trimming my mustache so I need to get the scissors out I think.

I am going to spend some time cleaning my room. I don’t have a lot of energy but I want to take the remaining clothes off my bed.  I also want to hang some more of the hat clips. I still have no found my LGBTQ Sox hat. It is missing. The other one is missing as well.

I am feeling depressed. I got to get moving. I am just so tired all the time it is hard to. I just want to lay down. I am not really hungry today. My stomach isn’t hurting me so I am glad. I might have an Ensure with my night meds. My sister bought turkey breast so I can make a sandwich. I am out of my yogurt. I need to go to the grocery store again. My cousin said he will take me Thurs. I hope so. I only had one cup of coffee today. I am not interested in having another.

Saturday Blog 17012026

I woke up early because I had to pee. It was difficult to go back to sleep because the puppy was up and my niece kept yelling at her. 4 am is not a time for play, puppy! I had a dream I was again on a psych unit. This time Terri Clark, one of my favorite country artists, was in the dream. She played a counselor in the dream. I was assigned a task to do but kept losing what it was I needed. I had my pen and it must have fell out of my pocket and someone destroyed it. It was weird.

I got up to pee again after and I brushed my teeth. I had already taken my meds around 630. My upper back was killing me. It felt like someone had been punching me while I was sleeping. I tried to sleep more on my stomach but I couldn’t stay that way. I have to sleep on my side and it has to be my right side. I don’t stay too long on my left.

I got up around 11 and had coffee. I also had a yogurt. I asked my sister if she would take me to the pharmacy and she said she would. I got there and when I logged onto my laptop, I realized I forgot the pickup order I placed. Dammit. I always forget.

I had some ravioli for lunch as I was hungry. My stomach is upset now. My sister is making a lasagna. I am tired. I nearly was sleeping on the ride home with my sister. It’s too late now to nap.

I have eight days before the semester starts. I need to start reading the textbook. Maybe I can do that tomorrow or Monday. I really need to make an effort to clear my bed off. I am so close to it being done.