midnightdemons7

No classes and lab

Due to the terrible snow storm, class and lab have been canceled. I hope we can start on Wed but there is still a deep freeze going on. Things might be icy. I need to go out tomorrow and get my meds. I might take a Lyft there and then take the T home, if service is running properly. Today it was running on a modified schedule.

I ordered a smoothie and a quesadilla from a smoothie place. It was the first thing I had in the past two days. I have been drinking Ensure for two days. Yesterday I wasn’t hungry at all and just had the 350 calories from the Ensure and whatever my coffee gives me. I didn’t eat anything as I had no appetite at all. I have been making sure I am drinking fluids though. I will need to refill my water bottle soon. I haven’t been drinking that much Powerade.

I woke up early today and then didn’t get back to sleep till around 6. I then woke up around 730. I paid some bills and then had coffee. I was contemplating having yogurt but I didn’t want something cold. My room is still freezing from the wind and cold temperatures. It’s still snowing out. I had to put on an extra blanket. I had planned on having therapy in the kitchen where it is warmer but everyone was home from work. Half way through my therapy session my bitch sister knocks on the door because the puppy wanted me. Ugh. She came in my room to get the treats. I don’t believe her. Pissed me off.

Therapy went ok. We talked about the body dysmorphia. I told her I really want to be below 200 pounds but it is really hard when I keep gaining and losing the same weight each week. I will have my weight done at my pcp’s office Thurs. I just got to wear sweatpants. We also talked about peer to peer support. Even though there is one next to my city, I rather go in Boston where I know my way around. I am not familiar with the location of the support center. I think I do but it might not be the one I am thinking of. I know it is near the hospital somewhere close to Inman Square. It is just a pain to get there because of the busses I need to take to get there.

I played with the puppy after my session. It was fun. I got her running all over the house. She is too funny. She loves the bone I got her. That is what we play with as sort of a tug of war. The bone is kind of too small to play with but we make it work once she has a good grip. She is so gentle and doesn’t growl. I love her.

My sister has gotten in the habit of shutting the bathroom door. Problem is there is no heat there so it gets wicked cold. I want to shower but I don’t want to freeze my ass off. I also need to shave my head but I don’t want to be shirtless in the cold. The stupid heat vent is broken. It is on for like five minutes before it shuts off automatically and stays off. I don’t know why it does this. We need an electrician to do something about it.

I just checked the status of my repair for my laptop and it is “completed”. WTF they didn’t do anything!!! So I started another ticket where I will be mailing my laptop to them. I will be without my baby for a few days. Looks like my old laptop will be in use, if I can get it started again. Not a huge deal as I mostly just check my junk mail and write my blog on my laptop. I can do that from my phone if I can’t get the laptop to work.

I woke up later than I wanted to. I haven’t done anything except have coffee and shaved my head. I also brushed my teeth. I feel wicked depressed. I haven’t eaten anything. My sister is making something in the kitchen. She kicked me out while I was trying to make coffee. I went downstairs.

My stomach has been hurting me all day. I had heartburn really bad this morning. I took my meds and it calmed down some. I think I am just going to have Ensure. I’ve been drinking water and powerade. Wish I didn’t feel so blah.

It’s cold like they predicted. Boston canceled school so I won’t be going to class Monday night. I haven’t received the official announcement from UMB yet. Maybe tomorrow.

Do nothing day

I wanted to clear off the rest of my bed but I slept really late and had no energy to do anything. I did take off a couple of things. I had my coffee and something to eat. Today was weight loss drug injection day. I felt the needle again. My stomach started acting up a little after my first cup of coffee and then really flared up after my second. I tried to cuddle with the pup after but she didn’t want to. I went upstairs and needed a nap. I didn’t sleep though as my niece came home and I had to unlock the door for her.

I have been feeling depressed the last couple of hours. I was really thinking about ending it. I also thought about classes on Mon and now that the snow shifted, there might not be classes. I am not going to go if it is going to snow that night as my class starts at 530pm. I might have to wait until Mon to find out if they canceled class. I still don’t know who is teaching or if there will be lab on Tues.

The temp is 25 with a feel of 14F. There is some wind so I am sure it is colder than that. I am glad it is windy because my room will get to be cold. Temps are supposed to drop, tho I don’t know when.

I would contact a hotline for how I am feeling but I hate when they ask “what did you do the last time you felt this way”? I don’t fucking know. I do so many things. Sometimes I blog, sometimes I write in my journal, listen to music that would fit the mood or just listen to old Taylor for a mood lift. I like listening to 1989 because it makes me want to dance, especially to shake it off and never ever getting back together. But Show Girl also has some songs that make me want to dance. I made a playlist of the two albums.

I hate that my bank doesn’t process deposits on Saturdays. I am supposed to get paid tomorrow but the money won’t be in my account until Mon. I need to get my meds, though with the snowstorm Mon it might be Tues or Wed I will have to go, which means I will be late in taking my migraine med.

I need to shower tonight. I am going to do it before bed. I still have razor burn from shaving my head yesterday. I need to get some kind of shave butter or gel. My friend recommended one but Amazon was only selling a 6 pack of it. I don’t need 6 bottles! I will go to Walgreens or maybe Walmart and see if they have it or something else. I like Gillette products. They are very good.