midnightdemons7

Resting day

I had therapy this morning. We discussed my grief about my mother and things. I had sent her a message saying how anxious I was about school. I don’t know what I am going to do if I can’t complete my degree. She didn’t offer any suggestions on it. Just to be mindful and present.

I had lunch and then I was feeling tired. I took a nap and it was for the rest of the afternoon/evening. I just woke up to take my night meds. I didn’t really sleep so great last night. I am debating on whether to finish my book or do the Italian. I was unsuccessful in finding a tutor. The professor said he would give me some extra help if I needed it. I am supposed to be starting the next book. The professor said it is an easy read. I am glad because the last few books have been difficult.

I am feeling really depressed. I keep thinking of my mother. I want to just see if she is ok. I just miss her so much. I bought a couple of books at the bookstore. I need to go pick them up tomorrow. I was going to go yesterday but I forgot. I feel sort of rested since I have napped all afternoon.

A day of being busy on campus

I messed up my alarm and got up late so I didn’t have time to make coffee at home. I was up from 3-7am last night. I woke up to pee and then couldn’t go back to sleep until I heard my sister leave for work. Then I woke up feeling like complete shit.

I made it to class with fifteen minutes to spare. There was a little delay getting to the station. For the most part, I wasn’t too winded today walking. It was fairly warm and I was sweating with my hoodie on. Class was good but I am still fucking behind. I got to finish this book and then read like 80 pages of the next book by Thurs. I still need to work in my Italian. After class I went to the student tutoring place. They just gave me a website to sign up for a tutor like my professor did. I told them I had trouble finding someone and she was like just email them. But she didn’t give me the email address, just the website. I’ll figure it out somehow.

I got sort of winded as I was walking back to Campus Center to catch the shuttle so I stopped at a bench. I was wicked thirsty. I bought a coke as my stomach is upset for some reason. All I had to eat today was the feta spinach wrap from Starbucks. It was wicked salty today so maybe my stomach didn’t like it. I drank my latte fast. I needed the caffeine. I had two missed calls when I checked my messages. One was my therapist’s office and the other was my cousin. I called my cousin. He could have just texted me his answer but decided to call me. I hate when people do that.

I read my book on the way home. I was so exhausted. I had to pick up some of my meds at the pharmacy and get more water. I also bought some more Gatorade. I ordered Chinese food for tonight. My stomach isn’t going to like the Kung Pao but I haven’t had it in a while. I don’t know if carrying the drinks stressed me, but I was so fucking winded by the time I reached my house. I had to sit on my porch for a few minutes before continuing upstairs. I got winded again, after the stairs. I was sweating. I needed to cool off. I also need to shower as I stink. My legs felt dead when I finally relaxed in my bed. I messaged my therapist if we could do virtual as I know it is going to be hard to have back to back days of walking. She agreed. It also gives me a chance to try out my new laptop’s camera. I got it yesterday. It is so much faster than my older one. I have to transfer files now. I haven’t decided what to do with my thumb drive that I keep my blog docs on. I might have to switch when I use the newer to the old. Or maybe just save on my hard drive. I still need to install Endnote on new laptop. Today I am just copying files for it. I am too tired to do everything. My leg keeps twitching and I don’t know why. I don’t know if it is my thigh or my knee. Can be either or both. It doesn’t hurt; it is just annoying.